A Ranma 1/2 manga fanfiction
by Gary Kleppe

This was written and posted to the fanfiction mailing list on Halloween (1997). Thanks go to Jeff Shelton for the title.

The characters of Ranma 1/2 are the creation of and rightful property of Rumiko Takahashi. They are used here without permission. This story may be freely redistributed, but it should not be altered substantially or used for profit in any way.

Ranma dreamed.

He was fighting against a dark multi-tentacled thing. It was a demon, with piercing red eyes that shone through the darkness. Slimy appendages struck out at him again and again, trying to worm their way into his body.

After what seemed like years, the demon finally lay beaten on the ground. Even in a dream, Ranma Saotome would not be defeated.

He woke slowly, wiping the sweat from his forehead. Stupid nightmare, he thought. It takes more than some dumb dream to frighten me.

Strangely, he felt a large and comfortable bed under him, not his usual futon. He rolled over and noticed someone lying next to him. It was Kodachi Kuno.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaa!" he yelled.

Kodachi's sleepy eyes opened. "What is it, darling? I didn't think you'd be up so early -- not after last night." She smiled mischeiviously.

"How... what... how did I get here?" Ranma inched away from Kodachi to the opposite edge of the bed. He took in his surroundings, a large room with luxurious furnishings. "If Akane catches me like this, she'll kill me!"

"Are you making a joke, dearest? Akane Tendo hasn't been heard from in years." The covers partially pulled away. Kodachi wore a nightgown that left little to the imagination. "Why don't you go take your shower, darling?"

"What the heck is goin' on here?" Ranma stepped to the floor, using the bedspread to cover his naked body. "Gimme back my clothes, you crazy chick!"

Kodachi stared at him, slightly bemused. "'Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.'"


"That's what I said to you on the day you finally admitted your love for me, and the others gave up on you." She looked genuinely concerned. "Oh Ranma, have you really lost your memory? Maybe I should take you to see the doctor."

Ranma pulled back. "You go to see a doctor, you psycho nutcase! Have him give you some Prozac or something! I'm outta here!"

Tears welled in Kodachi's eyes. "How... how can you say that? After all we've...."

"Um, hey, you don't gotta cry or anything. I, uh, that is, I..."

"Darling, please don't go!" Kodachi snuggled up to Ranma, pressing her mostly-bare breasts against his body and grinning suggestively. "I'll make you forget all about your amnesia."

"I... uh..." Ranma had to get away. "I gotta... take a shower. Yeah, that's it." He grabbed a robe that hung on the wall, then bolted out of the room before Kodachi could protest. He needed to go somewhere, anywhere. Somewhere he could think. Why was it so hard to think?

He moved quietly and quickly down the corridor as he tied the robe. It was double-layer silk with Chinese designs all over the outside. The kind of thing he might wear, if he ever wore that kind of thing. Which he didn't.

The Kuno mansion was a maze. Ranma followed the twists and turns of the corridors, trying to find a way out. He passed a wall with a large picture of him in a tux, smiling, standing next to Kodachi in a black wedding dress. Well, she was the photo retouch expert.

What Kodachi had said just didn't make any sense. Akane gone for years? No way! No matter where he went, that tomboy would always find him eventually, though he could never be sure what she would do once she found him. And the others just giving up? No way! Shampoo giving up? She was one of the most stubborn people in the history of the universe.

But... he couldn't remember when the last time was that he had talked to Akane. Or Shampoo. Or any of the others.

Ranma heard a noise and saw a light from a room ahead of him. He recognized the same room that he had come out of. He'd obviously walked around in a circle.

Kodachi's voice came from from within. "He managed to free himself somehow. He is obviously stronger than we thought."

Ranma quietly pushed the door open to see if anyone else was there. She didn't seem to notice him.

"I promised that if you gave me Ranma, I would deliver the souls of the other four," she said. "But I must have more power!"

Ranma turned, trying to see who she was talking to. The far corner of the room was pitch dark. Lights appeared in the blackness, a pair of piercing red eyes. A gutteral voice was heard. "You shall have it."

"Kodachi!" Ranma charged into the room.

"Yes?" She stared at him, innocently. The room was brightly lit. Whatever had been in the corner, if anything, was gone. "Is everything all right, Ranma?"

"I... uh..." Ranma tried to remember what he had just been thinking about. "I, uh, forgot my towel." Yes, that was it, wasn't it? Why was it so hard to think?

"I'd better make an appointment for you to see the doctor, Darling. You're obviously under too much stress." She smiled reassuringly. "Maybe he can give you some Prozac!"

NOTES: Please don't kill me. :-) This story is a deliberate departure from canon, and not intended to imply that Kodachi would actually deal with the Powers of Darkness. It is also in no way meant to suggest that this is the most plausible scenario under which she and Ranma would end up together. Far from it. It would be much easier for her to simply keep him drugged. But this was supposed to be a Halloween story.

Challenge question: Who originally said/wrote 'Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.'? ('Twasn't me.)