"I have this friend," began Ukyo Kuonji, "a male friend. He's waiting outside. He's a battered spouse, and I think it might help him to join this group."

"We're not usually comfortable with the idea of men in our group." Group leader Kimiko noticed Ukyo fingering her enormous spatula, a spatula with which the young chef was obviously capable of pounding the whole group into okonomiyaki batter. "But we could make an exception. Tell us about this friend of yours."

"He's a martial artist. After many years, he finally married a girl who he's deeply in love with. But she treats him like dirt. She pounds him for every little annoyance, and generally doesn't care about anything he has to say. He's not a bad fighter, but he just won't fight back. Not against her."

"Let's bring him in and hear what he has to say." Kimiko called out to the corridor, "Come in, please!" A man entered, a handsome man in Chinese clothes.

"Er... Hello. My name is..."

An angry female voice came from outside. "MOUSSE!!!"

Shampoo stormed into the room. "Mousse!! What you do here!?!"

Mousse dropped to his knees. "I'm so sorry!! My darling Shampoo, I'm sorry!! Please, please forgive me!!!" He continued to grovel as he was dragged out of the room, Shampoo mumbling something about having duck for dinner.

Ukyo and the group women looked at each other.

"Hopeless," Kimiko said. The others nodded.

A SERIOUS NOTE: This is a parody, and not to be taken seriously. REAL physical abuse of any kind SHOULD be taken seriously, and is NOT hopeless. Those who suffer from physical abuse are urged to get help.