[Scene: Gary sits in a small room, bare except for a computer monitor
and some other miscellaneous furniture.]

Gary: Hello, all. Some of you may remember that I used to do a series of
MST-esque fanfic commentaries entitled Shonen Sunday Theater 3000. This
I did with the help of my wise-cracking friends, the
hormornally-challenged adolescent anime characters, Ranma 1/2's Hiroshi
and Daisuke.

[Our view pulls back to see the aforementioned characters.]

Hiroshi: Hey! I resent that description!

Daisuke: Me too! We're hormornally-challenged adolescent MANGA

Gary: So anyway, a certain insane Principal, the one who locked us up
here somewhere in Furinkan High in the first place, is threatening to
cut off our food supply unless we do an MSTing once in a while.

Hiroshi: So, today we present... uh, which fic are we doing today

Gary: Insignificant.

Hiroshi: If you say so. I was just asking, y'know, but I guess you're
right, it's not important.

Gary: No, today's FIC is Insignificant.

Daisuke: It is, is it? Who decides what the significance of a fanfic is,
anyway? I suppose that your fics ARE significant?

Gary: ... the Principal is calling....

[Computer screen lights up to reveal the face of Principal Kuno]

Principal: Aloohaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Gary: Howdy, Princ.

Principal: Today I'm havin' very special treat fo' all you keiki, yeah!
De story got de title "Insignificant" by Eric Adams!

Daisuke: Why didn't Gary tell us that?

Hiroshi: Yeah, how much trouble is it to answer a simple question?

Principal: Enjoy!

[the computer screen blanks out, and the fic appears on it]

>Eric Adams Presents
>Insignificant Part I - Loss
Gary: We need a joke on this chapter title, guys.

Daisuke: Gee, I can't think of one. You might say I'm at a... loss!

> Ukyou Kuonji sat at the bar and did her best to drown
>herself in her drink.

Hiroshi: Which isn't easy, considering relative sizes and all.

Daisuke: Oh, too bad. You fall in spring of drowned cross-dressing
okonomiyaki chef. Very tragic story.

Hiroshi: This scene opens this chapter. Does that make it a loss leader?

> So, Ranma had married Akane, big surprise, everyone
>knew it would happen.

Gary: Certain fanfic writers excepted... :-P

> It was expected, almost predestined.
>In a surprising and bold move, Ranma and Akane had run away
>to elope. In their own way they were defying their parents
>wishes and following their hearts. Ukyou could hardly
>question their choice. Upon their return a few days later
>there had been a more formal reception to which Ukyou had
>been invited.

Daisuke: What, you give her a little food and she shuts up?

Gary: That last sentence doesn't really go with that paragraph. I'd move
it into the next one.

> She had gone to the reception and had smiled numbly
>offering hollow words of congratulations. Throughout the

Hiroshi: Con( )ions!

>whole affair she bit her lips to keep from crying and kept
>her eyes firmly trained on the floor.
> Shampoo had attended as well, though Cologne and Mousse
>were noticeably absent. Ukyou thought she heard the same
>hollowness in Shampoo's voice but kept her thoughts to
>herself. The two of them had exchanged pleasantries and
>avoided each other's eyes. Ukyou had wondered where
>Cologne and Mousse were, but before she had a chance to
>ask, Ranma asked for a single dance.

Gary: A "single" dance? That kinda rubs it in...

> She had not noticed Akane approaching her from across
>the room and was subsequently surprised when the newlywed
>touched her shoulder. Akane had smiled pleasantly and

Gary: If she's doing this now, take out the 'had'

>asked her if she was all right. Ukyou merely nodded and
>went back to her silent vigil.
> She had thought to ask Shampoo if she wanted to get
>together some night but Shampoo had disappeared shortly
>afterwards. Cologne and Mousse had no idea where the girl
>had run off.

Gary: I thought those two were the ones who had gone somewhere.

> She sipped some more on the foul tasting concoction

Gary: some more of

> Once in the bathroom Ukyou stood in front of the
>mirror and adjusted the ribbon in her hair, straightened
>her skirt and made sure she was real. She applied her best

Hiroshi: What'd she expect? That it was a film of her?

>makeup and walked back out to the seat next to the handsome
>man. An idea already forming in her head.

Daisuke: A fragment of a sentence.

> The man grinned at her and stylishly slicked back his
>hair, "I'm Toshi, it's a pleasure to meet her."

Gary: Toshi has a problem with his pronouns.

> Ukyou danced recklessly, her mind far away. She let
>the rhythm of the music carry her body, her eyes closed
>most of the time. She moved sexually her body sometimes

Gary: sexually, her

Hiroshi: You don't suppose...

>coming in close contact to his, her breasts brushing
>against his chest, her crotch on his knees. He gripped her
>waist at times and when her back was turned to him he
>pressed his body close against hers till she could feel his
>hard sex against her butt. Ukyou had no problem seducing
>the boy.

Daisuke: YES!! The Principal has finally sent us a lemon!!

Gary: Down, boy.

> Once they arrived at his place, they quickly
>retreated upstairs to his apartment where she stripped
>naked and laid herself on his bed.
> "You are beautiful," he complimented her.

Gary: I think it's kinda obvious that it was a compliment. Who would be
insulted by that?

Daisuke: Onna-Ranma, maybe?

> The act of penetration was what she ached and longed
>for. For years she had been saving herself for Ranma, but
>his marriage to Akane had removed any hope she had of him
>being her first. Two weeks after the reception she decided
>relieve herself of that burden and had masturbated herself
>to a climax. Coldly and efficiently she had pierced her own
>hymen, ending her virginity.

Hiroshi: Those mini-spatulas are real useful.


Daisuke: O.O

> He came suddenly and Ukyou reacted by faking her own
>orgasm. She had to fake because she was no where near

Gary: nowhere

[Hiroshi and Daisuke watch, speechless]

>being excited, her juices having run dry shortly after
>penetration. His movement during the whole affair had only
>hurt her.
> Spent he lay on top of her until she pushed him off.

Gary: Spent, he
> She realized with some trepidation that they had not
>used protection and hoped that the idiot had not gotten her
>pregnant. Standing up she gathered her clothes and went to
>the bathroom to get dressed.
> From the bedroom she could hear him talking inanely,
>"That was great,"

Gary: great."

H&D: We agree!

Gary: No, it's a punctuation correction.

> "Ukyou, I'm glad you are home. I was beginning to
>get worried about you it's getting late." He looked up at

Gary: you. It's

>her the concern clearly etched on his face.

Gary: her, the

> "I'm alright," she started to make her way up the
>stairs, "I'm tired, are you going to sleep now?"
> He nodded and followed her upstairs. Ukyou wished
>him a good night and retired to her own room. Her legs
>hurt and she felt raw between them.
> The single mirror in the room anchored her to
>reality. Tomorrow she would have to get another one or
>maybe two more;

Hiroshi: I'm available!!

Daisuke: Me too! She said she wanted two anyway!

Gary: She's talking about MIRRORS, you morons!

> Thousand of faces surrounded her. Some she
>recognized immediately, others she had to concentrate on to
>make out. Still there were other nameless people who only
>pointed and chuckled. She picked out Ryouga standing to

Hiroshi: Is this one of those "Ukyo and Ryoga" fics?

> Around Ukyou a thousand faces laughed and pointed.
> Ukyou realized she was naked and tried to cover
>herself. Happosai glanced at her and laughed out loud.
>Despite her nudity and vulnerability, he made no move
>towards her.

Gary: I like this. Nice way to show Ukyo's loss of confidence.

Hiroshi: That's not all that's showing! O.O

[Gary whups Hiroshi upside the head.]

> Ryouga walked up to her first, each night it was some
>one different. Ryouga faced her, a stern look in his eyes.
>"Is this the best answer you have?" Ryouga whispered
>harshly, "I thought better of you."

Daisuke (Ryoga voice): "I expected you to jump in a cursed spring and
end up becoming Ranma's pet!"

> "I tried." Ukyou whimpered as Ryouga faded before
> She picked out Shampoo standing apart from the
>chuckling crowd. Shampoo had never before appeared in her
>dreams. The Amazon shook her head at Ukyou and started to
>walk away.

Hiroshi: (Shampoo voice) Shampoo not be in this scene! So sorry!

Daisuke: An Ukyo and Shampoo fic? That might be new.

> Happosai, without Akane to glomp on wandered towards
>her and passed right through her.
> Ukyou noticed that Shampoo had not left and had edged

Gary: Take out the last 'had'; this is happening concurrently.

> "Look at what you've become," Shampoo stood back, disgust
>evident in her eyes, "Look at yourself."
> "I can't", Ukyou breathed and wrapped her arms around
>her naked body.
> "Why not?" Shampoo demanded.
> "I can't see myself."
> "Exactly."

HIroshi: What happened to all those mirrors she had?

Gary: I think that's part of the symbolism here, guys.

> Her heart pounding, Ukyou scanned the room, her eyes
>seeking confirmation, they came to rest on the mirror.
>When she saw she cast no reflection she started to scream.

Gary: (Bela Lugosi voice) Ukyo is now a vampire! AH! AH! AH!


> Walking into the drugstore, she did a quick circuit
>of the store, looking for anything that might catch her
>eye. Eventually, she came to the condom section. Not an
>expert on the various brands she looked over each box
>separately. Last night's experience with Toshi had hurt
>mainly because she was not excited, she considered that
>future encounters would continue along the same course and
>opted to get the lubricated brand. Eyeing the pack of
>condoms nervously, she looked around making sure no one was
>looking, she started walking to the cashier then stopped
>for a second and considered what she was doing. She turned
>around and returned to the selection and picked out a
>second box, these were lubricated as well but were also
>ribbed. Maybe getting some enjoyment out of the situation
>would not hurt.

Daisuke: How do you suppose the author knows so much about condoms?

Gary: You don't need to know that much. It's just a matter of condom
sense. Actually I think this is probably semi-autobiographical. It just
feels that way.


> She had chosen her outfit carefully tonight. A black
>body suit top, and some dark leggings. It was a good look

Hiroshi: It was the Kodachi look. OHOHOHOHOHO!!!!

>for her. She had made sure to cover up the dark circles
>and she even let her smile reach her eyes.
> As he led her onto the dance floor she began move
>already to the music.

Gary: That last sentence needs to be fixed.

> The alcohol removed her inhibitions
>and she let the music carry her body. She liked to dance
>and was good at it; her movements were always in synch with
>the rhythm, her body moving sexually against her partner.
>Before long her and Kentaro had attracted an audience, most
>entranced by her.

Daisuke: Kentaro? So that's what he's doing after leaving Ikkoku. "Mom!!
You're embarrassing me!!"

Hiroshi: Not that Kentaro, idiot. This is the one from the "Thy Outward
Part" series.

Daisuke: I thought those were the same characters. No, he's from the
porno lemon version of that, "Thy Private Part."

> Ukyou nodded and reached for the door. She needed to
>get into the fresh air and breath. The inside of the car

Gary: breathe.

> Ukyou composed herself and stopped crying before she
>entered the restaurant. She realized that Konatsu was
>probably going to still be up waiting for her. While a
>part of her found his devotion sweet another part of her
>found it annoying. Still she felt as if she could trust
>him not to go away. She needed some sense of stability on
>her life.

Gary: in her life.

> As expected, Konatsu was fast asleep at the counter.
>She poked him in the back and woke him up. "Hey sugar, I'm
>home you can stop worrying."
> Konatsu blinked furiously at her. "Ukyou, I'm so
>glad you're home."

Daisuke: He doesn't sound furious.

Gary: Don't think he meant it like that...

> Ukyou shrugged, "It's been a long night, do you mind
>opening up tomorrow again."

Gary: again?

> "Of course not," Konatsu stood up and brushed the
>wrinkles out of his clothes, "You just sleep okay."
> Ukyou smiled sweetly at him and promised herself to
>do something nice for him. "Good night Konatsu."

Hiroshi: Like she did for Toshi and Kentaro?

Gary: I wouldn't think so...

>Insiginificant Part II - Desperation

Hiroshi: DESPERATION! The goofy game for dopey martial artists!

> For the next two weeks, life proceeded the same as
>usual. Ukyou went out almost every night, but she did not
>always let someone have his way with her. Her first two
>experiences had left her feeling sore both physically and
>emotionally. A week passed before Ukyou let another man
>inside of her.
> Day's were exercises in exhaustion. Konatsu did most

Gary: Days

>of the serving and greeting of customers, while Ukyou
>struggled to stay awake at the grill. She went through the
>motions of living doing her best to forget Ranma.

Gary: living,

> After her previous dream with Shampoo, Ukyou stopped
>remembering her dreams. She knew she had them and
>sometimes she would wake up in tears, but she no longer
>remembered what occurred in them, it was a welcome

Gary: 'them; it' or 'them. It'

> Despite Konatsu's prodding, Ukyou limited herself to

Daisuke: Konatsu's joined the DBTFH.

>only one meal a day. The meals that she did eat were
>sparse, and if she ate too much she would throw it up. It
>was not necessarily that she was being bulimic, it was that
>her stomach could not handle any more food than it felt was
> Days passed with a mind-numbing fervor. She had
>three more encounters with men over those two weeks.
>Once, she let Hikaru take her to his place where she let
>him take her as she lay there, half unconscious from the
>alcohol in her.


Daisuke: He gets even less than we do!

Gary: Can't get less than nothing.

Daisuke: Hikaru is another fairly standard Japanese name. I wonder if
the author is using one of those guides that gives you a list of common
names in various languages.

Hiroshi: Cool! Our names are bound to be in a list like that!

Gary: I think the point is that she's doing every Tom, Dick, and Harry.

> A second time, too horny and aching for penetration
>to wait until they arrived to a more private area, she had
>allowed Tetsuo to take her in a nearby alley. Pressed
>against the wall, his hands up her shirt and in her bra,
>she came the closest to orgasming. Thinking upon it as she
>went home, she felt that it was the risk of being caught
>that had made the experience more exciting.
> The third man, Kaneda, she had brought home with her.

Gary: Kaneda? Take off, hoser. Beauty, eh?

>As she thought, Konatsu had glared daggers at him but said
>nothing. She allowed him to take her in her room. While
>he was not any better than the other men she had recently
>allowed inside her, she had cried his name wildly and

Daisuke: (Ukyo voice) Oh KANEDA! (Singing) Our home and native land...

> Konatsu once again pushed the spoon towards her,
>"Ukyou why are you doing this?"
> "Because I'm sick you idiot." She snarled at him,
>then stopped and stifled a sob, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean
>to yell at you."
> Konatsu sighed as she thrust his hand away again,
>"That's not what I mean," he tried to meet her eyes, but
>every time she looked at him and noticed his look her eyes
>darted away to the mirror above her bed. "I mean the way
>you are living your life. If you are not careful you are
>going to hurt yourself.

Hiroshi: Gee, THERE'S the understatement of the millenium...

> "So go ahead fuck me and get it over with, just be a
>little gentle and please use a condom." She turned her
>head into the pillow. "Just get it over with, quickly.
>I've done mean things to you in the past, now is your
>chance to get back at me."
> Konatsu looked at her in horror. Her face turned
>into the pillow he tentatively reached his hand out and
>stroked her hair. It was matted with sweat but he enjoyed
>the simple feel of it on his hand. He closed his eyes,
>took a deep breath, got up and walked out of the room.
> Ukyou was asleep and didn't hear him leave.

Gary: Score one for Konatsu!

Hiroshi: Yeah. If it had been Shampoo, Mousse would've done it.
> She awoke the next morning feeling better. She was
>still weak and her hands shook. She noted the cold chicken
>soup and the flat ginger ale

Hiroshi: What brand? Kaneda dry?

> "Hey," Kentaro winked at her, "I didn't think I'd be
>seeing you anytime soon. What brings you down here." He
>was with two other men, both smiled at her.
> Ukyou smiled back and turned her attention to
>Kentaro. After she had allowed him to take her, rather
>haphazardly, in the back of his car, he hadn't seemed
>disappointed by her leaving afterwards. Perhaps another
>night with him would not hurt. He was handsome enough.
> "Well, I heard about this club from some friends." She
>lied, currently she had nobody she could call a friend.
>He smiled at her his eyes betraying nothing; "These
>are my friends, Koji and Koseii."

Daisuke: We're all part of the 'K' team!

Hiroshi: Think it would help if I changed my name to 'Kiroshi'?

Gary: Not really...

> Inside, the club was packed. There were no tables to
>be found so the group loitered by a railing and watched the
>crowd dance. Koseii bought the first round of beer for the
>guys. Ukyou had insisted on shots next. Which Koji had
>been only too happy to buy. The group downed the shots and

Gary: shots next, which Koji

> On the dance floor, Ukyou watched Kentaro and the
>girl dance slowly, her head resting on his chest.
> Ukyou remembered Ranma.
> She had wanted him to hold her like that,
>softly swaying to a beautifully romantic song. Dreams do
>not always come true she told herself harshly. A second
>song began and her heart broke.
>//If ever you are feeling tired//
>//And all your uphill struggles leave you headed=20
>//If you realize your wildest dreams can hurt you//
>//And your appetite for pain has drinken its fill//

Hiroshi: This is turning into a musical...

Daisuke: Fast-forward, willya?


>Insignificant Part III - Redepmtion

Daisuke: (Dramatic voice) The chapter where Ukyo trades in her Green
Stamps for valuable prizes!!
> Ryouga was confused and lost. Both were not uncommon
>states for him to be in but this felt some how different.

Gary: somehow

> She wiped at the tears in her eyes, a dull anger
>slowly replacing her despair. All of her life she had let
>him have control. Decisions that should have been hers to
>make were robbed from her at an early age. In another life
>she may never have met him or even fallen in love with him.
>In another, better life.
> As the dull anger slowly filled her she realized she
>wanted Ranma to come.

Hiroshi: Um...

Gary: Not like that. No.

> Ukyou contacted Nabiki and told her of her plan and
>Nabiki agreed to do what she could but demanded nearly
>double her usual fee for the secrecy that Ukyou demanded.
>Ukyou had done her best to bargain but Nabiki would not

Gary: That's two 'demanded' in the same sentence. Maybe he could use a
synonym for one of them.

Hiroshi: It's not easy to write this stuff.

Daisuke: Yes, it's demanding!

> "You're asking me to withhold information from my
>brother-in-law." Nabiki had argued.

Hiroshi: (Nabs' voice) So you'll have to outbid him!

> In the end Ukyou ended up paying the outrageous fee
>because she knew Nabiki would be true to her word and get
>her what she needed. She had used Nabiki as a consultant
>before on various contracts and business dealings and
>understood that Nabiki was amongst the best and well worth
>the money.
> She opened up the restaurant in the morning,
>hurriedly serving patrons and shooing them out as soon as
>they were done eating. She charged only half price for her
>okonomiyaki and the word quickly spread. That morning she
>did more business than she had done in the past month.

Daisuke: Yes, she had two whole customers!

> Amazingly, Ukyou was in good spirits. She smiled at
>her customers and her eyes shone with life and spirit.
>Occasionally, she glanced at the mirror she had hung up
>just to confirm she still existed. She was looking forward
>to the coming confrontation.

Hiroshi: Doesn't she realize that she's just a fictional character?

Gary: Look who's talking!

> Around noon, she closed down the restaurant, kicking
>the last of the patrons out. She waited downstairs, at the
>grill, her head in her hands, a wide grin on her face and
>her eyes focused on the door before her. The quiet sounds
>of Nerima and the restaurant filled her with unease and she
>went upstairs to contemplate herself on her bed.
> Lying on her bed she stared at the mirror above her
>and tried to assuage her fears. She worried that Ranma
>would not come.

Gary: That's not what she means, guys. Really.

> She needed this confrontation, she needed
>to face Ranma one last time. She had convinced herself
>that a confrontation with Ranma would allow her to heal.
> A part of her chided that he would not come, that she

Daisuke: Are you SURE it's not what she means? That word is being used
an awful lot right around now...

Hiroshi: It's very Freudian if you ask me.

Gary: I didn't.

> By eight o'clock her despair threatened to overwhelm
>her, her head aching, dried blood on her scalp and face,
>anger and grief took a hold of her and she shattered every
>mirror in her room except for the one over her bed. She
>cut her hands several times on the broken shards and the
>pain was almost unbearable. Biting back screams of
>frustration, she glanced at the hundreds of shards around
>her and saw the teary eyed, bleeding visage of the person
>she had grown to hate. Unable to control her tears any
>longer, she collapsed to her knees, shut her eyes and let
>out a wracking sob.

Daisuke: By nine o'clock she realized that Ranma was supposed to be
there at four PM, not AM.

> Downstairs, unheard, there was a tentative knock on
>the door.

Hiroshi: Jehova's Witnesses! Open up!

> She opened the door slowly, no longer sure of what
>she wanted to say. Ranma stood there and behind him -
>Akane. She had not anticipated Akane's presence and it made
>her feel uneasy. Silently, she stood aside and let the two
> The two entered the restaurant with out a word,

Gary: without

> Ukyou looked up at Akane's pleading eyes, relishing
>in the fear she saw in them. Her eyes snapped back once
>more to focus on Ranma and she noticed that there was
>uncertainty in them but the fear was no longer present. Making no
>move to release her hold on Ranma or move the spatulas
>Ukyou sought confirmation from her mirror.

Daisuke: (Ukyo voice) Mirror mirror on the wall...

> "He came here because he was worried about you,"
>Akane replied with resentment and anger in her voice.
> "I know, but it doesn't help the pain." Ukyou paused,
>then continued, "But for what its worth, thank you."

Gary: it's

> Sighing, she stood up and stretched. Writing was
>hard for her, she had never tried so hard to put her
>feeling's down in words much less write them out in story

Gary: feelings

> "Sometimes, but its amazing what you can see out
>there." Ryouga gestured with his arm indicating the
>horizon. "I get to sight see a lot, I've been places that
>so many people here never get to see. I've seen the Great
>Lakes, and the Lover Volcanoes in Mexico. I've taken a
>ride in the canals of Venice and walked up the Loire Valley
>in France.

Hiroshi: What, he walks on the water? How does he leave Japan?

> Sometimes I get lonely and sometimes hate
>consumes me, but truthfully, sometimes I would never give
>it up. Besides, it makes it worthwhile when you run into
> This was a side of Ryouga that Ukyou had never
>noticed before, she had never considered that he might have
>appreciation for the things he had witnessed. "So have you
>given up your vendetta against Ranma?"
> He looked at her curiously, "Yeah, well, after he
>married Akane, it seemed kinda pointless. I mean I always
>screamed about her wellbeing and stuff, but she did chose
>him and if I respect her at all, I should accept her
> Ukyou kept her question about how P-Chan fit into his
>curious notion of respect silent.
> "But yeah, I've stopped hating Ranma. You can only
>hate for so long, I suppose." He stopped and took another
>bite of his sandwich.

Daisuke: (Ryoga voice) Oh, and I'm married to Akari now. Is that a

> "Ryouga? Maybe, if you get lonely and stuff, maybe
>you and me we could -" Ukyou struggled with the words she
>was about to say next. She had considered this for a
>while. She wanted to ask him if she could go with him.
>She didn't think he would turn her away and she didn't
>particular want to be alone. She looked at him eating his

Gary: particularly

>sandwich and staring at the horizon. She ached to fall in
>love with him.
> She opened her mouth to speak again and then thought
>better of it. It was an easy trap to fall into, she could
>replace her ache for Ranma with Ryouga. But she realized
>he deserved better and more importantly she deserved
>honesty to herself. Sighing she started again, "Maybe we
>can get together sometime." There was always hope and
>Ryouga was a very nice guy. If fate had intended them to
>be together there would be future chances, right now she
>just needed understanding.

Daisuke: Never trust your love life to fate. If I did that, I'd never
get any dates.

Gary: You DO never get any dates.

Daisuke: See what I mean?

> He swallowed hard and looked at her, "Do you mean
>like a date or something?"
> She smiled, "I don't know what I meant. Lets find

Gary: Let's

>out if we ever actually see each other again."
> "Won't you be here in Nerima?" he asked.
> "Actually," Ukyou stood up, "I'm leaving today."
> "Where you heading?"
> "That=92s the funny thing. Up until last night I
>didn't really have a plan." It was a small white lie but
>no sense in revealing her original plan to him. "I had a
>dream with Shampoo in it, I mean she was just there in
>China, but I think I'm going to try to find her."
> "It seems odd to be chasing a dream. I myself might
>crash tonight at the Tendo's or -" a pained look crossed
>his face, "Is it the Saotome Dojo now?"
> Ukyou shrugged, "Don't know, sugar, I haven't talked
>to Ranma in a month, and that wasn't a pleasant
>conversation." She hoisted her backpack onto her
>shoulders. "Anyway, some dreams are kinda vivid. Besides
>I kind of miss that purple-haired bimbo.
> "Maybe I'll see you around." She gave Ryouga a quick
>hug. She smiled when he tensed up and was afraid he might
>pass out.
> Ryouga quickly regained some of his composure, "Yeah,
>maybe some place we'll meet up or something."
> She smiled at him, letting it reach her eyes. "Yeah,
>maybe." She took his hand, smiled into his eyes then
>turned around and went to face her future.

Hiroshi: (Shampoo voice) Shampoo is spatula girl future? Ai ya!!

Daisuke: (Dramatic announcer voice) Yes, it's Tales of Shampoo and Ukyo!
Coming soon to a mailing list near you!

[fic ends; author's sig rolls as computer screen fades out]

Daisuke: Well, that's it, what did you think?

Gary: I liked it. I've always felt that Ukyo was a character who needs
to be developed a bit to be used in a serious story. Eric gave us a
pretty believable take on her, I think. He gives us a very human Ukyo
with needs and desires all her own.

Hiroshi: Yeah, I'll say!

Gary: Some nice imagery in the fic, too. He needs to work on punctuation
a bit, though.

Daisuke: Hey, punctuation's not always easy to get right

[A knock is heard at the door.]

Gary: Wonder who that is... (opens it) Hey! It's Ukyo!

Ukyo: Hi! I'm looking for Ran-chan's classroom. I brought him lunch. Can
you tell me how to get there from here?

Gary: Uh, 'fraid not. This part of the school is like a maze. Every time
any of us has tried to get anywhere, we've always ended up back here.

Ukyo: Oh well, sorry to bother y'all, I'll try to find it myself.

Hiroshi: Ukyo, can we ask you a question?

Ukyo: Sure, why not?

Hiroshi: There've been a lot of fanfics about what you'd do if Ranma
married Akane. What would you really do?

Ukyo: Let's put it this way, sugar. If you were the last male on Earth,
I'd never forget to send you a card every New Years.

Gary: Okay, but what WOULD you do?

Ukyo: Well... all I really want is for Ran-chan to be happy. If it turns
out, which it wouldn't, that he really wants to marry Akane, then I'll
gladly step aside. I'll watch over him and make sure that Akane's going
to treat him right. If she's a good wife, I'll reward her with my very
own okonomiyaki super-special.

Daisuke: Super-special?

Ukyo: It uses a secret blend of sauces which totally covers up the taste
of the rat poison.

Daisuke: You're kidding... right?

Ukyo: Okay, you can taste it a little. What does it matter? Anyway, bye,

Gary: I think we're done here. What do you think, your Kahuna-ness?

Principal: You wen' forget to be givin' de author's address!

Daisuke: Oh yeah. The author of this fic is Eric Adams
. E-mail him if you want a copy -- not the FFML.

Gary: Until next time....