Gary: Hi, everyone! Welcome to another edition of Shonen Sunday Theater
3000. I'm here with my two silly friends to read fanfiction and make
clever commentary...

Daisuke: Uh, Gary? Today is Wednesday, not Sunday. You were supposed to
do one of these three days ago.

Gary: So I'm slow. I'm already locked up, what can they do to me?

Hiroshi: Well, the Principal said that if this doesn't get out right
away, we won't get anything to eat but pineapple for the next six weeks.

Gary: Hey, he's calling now... [computer screen goes on showing the

Principal: Aloha, haole! Today you goan be readin' the beginning of
"Awakenings and Journeys" by JD Farber.

>Ranma 1/2
>Awakenings and Journeys

Hiroshi: If you get a sleeping car on the train, you can make your
journey without waking up.

Gary: What's that got to do with anything?

Hiroshi: Dunno, just thought I'd mention it.

>Prologue: This is The End, Beautiful Friend

Daisuke: (singing, Jim Morrison voice) This is the end... my only
friend, the end...

Hiroshi: This is one of those Monty Python things, where they say "THE
END" at the beginning just to confuse people?
> It's inevitable. In life, things happen.

Hiroshi: Unless you happen to be Gosunkugi.

> Good things, bad things,
>and all things in between. Sometimes, something happens and it gives a
>person such a kick in the ass that they get up and start living life, rather
>than watching it.

Gary: Hey, who's telling us this?

Daisuke: Yeah, it's easy to talk about life when you're an omniscient

> Nabiki's eyes shot open as her mind tormented her with the images of
>what had happened. Akane and Ranma took this as a sign of her waking up,
>and rushed over to her bedside. Her eyes, however, remained glazed
>over,seeing her sister's agonized look, nor Ranma's worried gaze.

Gary: You missed a "not" or a "neither" there.
> "Nabiki, come back to me. You have to tell us what happened. Were
>you in a fight? Are you hurt?

Hiroshi: Are you known for your work in the theater?

> What happened, Oneechan? Please, don't
>leave me." Akane started sobbing into Ranma's shoulder, her cries racking

Gary: Wracking.

>throughout her entire body. Ranma said nothing, just held the girl as she
> Nabiki didn't move

Gary: Period.

> "Well, pretty, welcome to the Dark Side. But first..." The man

Hiroshi: Oh, this is a Tale From the Dark Side!

> The man reached out and grabbed Nabiki by the shoulder straps of her
>school jumper. Nabiki tried to twist and wrench out of his grasp, but only
>succeeded in tearing her jumper. The dress hung limply by the one remaining
>strap, and the man had still not reliquished his hold. He grabbed the other
>strap and gave a violent yank. The jumper fell away in tatters. Nabiki
>froze as jumper hit the ground. she

Gary: Should that be "as her jumper"?

>thought numbly as the man ripped her blouse off. Standing there in her bra
>and panties, she idly thought about nothing. The man saw the vapid look in
>her eyes and smiled cruelly. The man aimed the gun at Nabiki's crotch and
>tore off her bra. As he stood there, licking and biting her nipples, her
>mind froze from the shock. She knew what was going on, but denied all of
>it. She didn't move as he tore off her panties, didn't respond when he
>started moving the barrel of the gun in and out of her sheath. It wan't
>until she felt him penetrate her with his manhood, and thrust past her
>virginity that she started crying. The man slapped her across the face,

Hiroshi: Heh heh heh heh heh heh
Daisuke: Huh huh huh huh huh lemons are cool huh huh

> The doctor rushed into the room. He was a young man, looking no
>older then twenty three. His shoulder length black hair framed his
>aristocratic British face perfectly. He was dressed entirely in black, save
>for his white lab coat. He took one look at the siezing girl, and muttered

Gary: seizing.

> Nabiki heard the man cock the gun. She saw him aim it at her. She
>heard the report as he pulled the trigger.

Daisuke: Nabiki shot by rapist, film at eleven.

> She felt pressure on her chest,
>and then a great release as the bullet made it's way to her heart. Heard

Gary: its

>another report, this time farther away, and felt yet another pressure on her
>chest, this time over her lung. As the bullets pierced her body, she felt
>her mind explode in a miasma of awareness. The man turned and left.
>Nabiki lay there for almost a minute before a different man ran in. He was
>dressed in all black, with a black trenchcoat, and black hair that framed an
>aristocratic British face elegantly. He took off his coat and wrapped
>Nabiki in it. He noted that the bullet wounds weren't serious. Luckily,
>the bullets had both bounced off ribs, so they were really nothing more then
>flesh wounds. The man smiled wryly
>at that thought, picked up Nabiki, and made his way to the nearest hospital.
>"Don't worry, Ms. Tendo. I'm a doctor. My name is Timothy. Timothy..."

Daisuke: "... Leary..."

Hiroshi: I'd be leery of this guy too.

> The doctor sighed. "That went well." Timothy sighed sarcastically.