Gary: Hi, everyone! Welcome to another edition of Shonen Sunday Theater
3000. I'm here with my two silly friends to read fanfiction and make
clever commentary...

Daisuke: Uh, Gary? Today is Wednesday, not Sunday. You were supposed to
do one of these three days ago.

Gary: So I'm slow. I'm already locked up, what can they do to me?

Hiroshi: Well, the Principal said that if this doesn't get out right
away, we won't get anything to eat but pineapple for the next six weeks.

Gary: Hey, he's calling now... [computer screen goes on showing the
Principal]

Principal: Aloha, haole! Today you goan be readin' the beginning of
"Awakenings and Journeys" by JD Farber.

>Ranma 1/2
>Awakenings and Journeys

Hiroshi: If you get a sleeping car on the train, you can make your
journey without waking up.

Gary: What's that got to do with anything?

Hiroshi: Dunno, just thought I'd mention it.

>Prologue: This is The End, Beautiful Friend

Daisuke: (singing, Jim Morrison voice) This is the end... my only
friend, the end...

Hiroshi: This is one of those Monty Python things, where they say "THE
END" at the beginning just to confuse people?
>
>
> It's inevitable. In life, things happen.

Hiroshi: Unless you happen to be Gosunkugi.

> Good things, bad things,
>and all things in between. Sometimes, something happens and it gives a
>person such a kick in the ass that they get up and start living life, rather
>than watching it.

Gary: Hey, who's telling us this?

Daisuke: Yeah, it's easy to talk about life when you're an omniscient
narrator.

> Nabiki's eyes shot open as her mind tormented her with the images of
>what had happened. Akane and Ranma took this as a sign of her waking up,
>and rushed over to her bedside. Her eyes, however, remained glazed
>over,seeing her sister's agonized look, nor Ranma's worried gaze.

Gary: You missed a "not" or a "neither" there.
>
> "Nabiki, come back to me. You have to tell us what happened. Were
>you in a fight? Are you hurt?

Hiroshi: Are you known for your work in the theater?

> What happened, Oneechan? Please, don't
>leave me." Akane started sobbing into Ranma's shoulder, her cries racking

Gary: Wracking.

>throughout her entire body. Ranma said nothing, just held the girl as she
>cried.
>
> Nabiki didn't move

Gary: Period.


> "Well, pretty, welcome to the Dark Side. But first..." The man

Hiroshi: Oh, this is a Tale From the Dark Side!


> The man reached out and grabbed Nabiki by the shoulder straps of her
>school jumper. Nabiki tried to twist and wrench out of his grasp, but only
>succeeded in tearing her jumper. The dress hung limply by the one remaining
>strap, and the man had still not reliquished his hold. He grabbed the other
>strap and gave a violent yank. The jumper fell away in tatters. Nabiki
>froze as jumper hit the ground. she

Gary: Should that be "as her jumper"?

>thought numbly as the man ripped her blouse off. Standing there in her bra
>and panties, she idly thought about nothing. The man saw the vapid look in
>her eyes and smiled cruelly. The man aimed the gun at Nabiki's crotch and
>tore off her bra. As he stood there, licking and biting her nipples, her
>mind froze from the shock. She knew what was going on, but denied all of
>it. She didn't move as he tore off her panties, didn't respond when he
>started moving the barrel of the gun in and out of her sheath. It wan't
>until she felt him penetrate her with his manhood, and thrust past her
>virginity that she started crying. The man slapped her across the face,

Hiroshi: Heh heh heh heh heh heh
Daisuke: Huh huh huh huh huh lemons are cool huh huh

> The doctor rushed into the room. He was a young man, looking no
>older then twenty three. His shoulder length black hair framed his
>aristocratic British face perfectly. He was dressed entirely in black, save
>for his white lab coat. He took one look at the siezing girl, and muttered

Gary: seizing.


> Nabiki heard the man cock the gun. She saw him aim it at her. She
>heard the report as he pulled the trigger.

Daisuke: Nabiki shot by rapist, film at eleven.

> She felt pressure on her chest,
>and then a great release as the bullet made it's way to her heart. Heard

Gary: its

>another report, this time farther away, and felt yet another pressure on her
>chest, this time over her lung. As the bullets pierced her body, she felt
>her mind explode in a miasma of awareness. The man turned and left.
>Nabiki lay there for almost a minute before a different man ran in. He was
>dressed in all black, with a black trenchcoat, and black hair that framed an
>aristocratic British face elegantly. He took off his coat and wrapped
>Nabiki in it. He noted that the bullet wounds weren't serious. Luckily,
>the bullets had both bounced off ribs, so they were really nothing more then
>flesh wounds. The man smiled wryly
>at that thought, picked up Nabiki, and made his way to the nearest hospital.
>"Don't worry, Ms. Tendo. I'm a doctor. My name is Timothy. Timothy..."

Daisuke: "... Leary..."

Hiroshi: I'd be leery of this guy too.

> The doctor sighed. "That went well." Timothy sighed sarcastically.
> The doctor pulled out a tarot deck and shuffled it.
>He fanned the deck out infront of him and drew a card. He placed the card

Gary: In front (2 words)

>on Nabiki's forehead without looking at it, and murmured a few mystic words.

Hiroshi: Drizzle drazzle drazzle drom, time for dees one to come home!

> Nabiki couldn't understand what was going on. Her mind was awash in
>awarness, yet it wouldn't let her grasp any of it. She was dead, yet her
>mind was alive. She had felt the bullets pierce her heart
>after...after...but then her mind had decided that the bullets didn't make
>it to her heart. She felt...something...move the bullets. Next thing she
>knew there was a man speaking to her...in her mind. Reaching to places that
>she never knew she had there. Coaxing her back to
>reality...unreality...reality...she was Nabiki Tendo, she was Arashi
>Wakanatabi, she was Mercedes DeCruz. Mercedes. Arashi. Nabiki. Nabiki.
>Arashi. Mercedes.

Daisuke: (singing) Let's call the whole thing off!

Hiroshi: Is she Carmen Sandiego too?

> Nabiki opened her eyes, and gazed at the doctor. She looked at him
>for a while, and a name popped into her head. "Your name is Timothy Black.
>You are a Euthanatos.

Gary: A what?

Daisuke: I think it's like euthanasia.

Gary: No, Nabiki is the youth in Asia.

Hiroshi: It's what you say if you meet the God of Death. Hey, you
Thanatos?

> "First, yes, my name is Timothy Black, and yes, I am an Euthanatos,
>but right now that has no meaning to you.

Hiroshi: Or to us.

> Imagine it like this. Reality, as you know it, is like a Tapestry.
>Most people are happy to just admire it from afar. There are some, however,
>that aren't content to just sit there and admire the work. Some have to go
>in and change the Tapestry. Sometimes, it's little changes, like winning
>the lottery, things that could easily be explained as coincedence. Other
>times, it's like tearing a hole and reweaving reality, like causing
>lightning to leap from your hand. Still other times, people have been known
>to give up on this Tapestry as lost, and make their own. You have been
>given the power to reweave the Tapestry.

Daisuke: (Nabiki voice) You're not a real doctor, are you?

>
> You asked how you knew all that information when there was no way
>you could have known. The answer to that is simple. You, quite literally,
>read my mind." Nabiki gasped in shock. "Don't be surprised. Remember what
>I told you about the Tapestry? Well, you can now read minds, sometimes. I
>wouldn't go around flaunting that you can do that, though, for two reasons.
>First off, it isn't very nice to go pulling thoughts from other people's
>heads. and second, not everyone veiws the Tapestry the way you do. The
>other reason...well, remember when I said reality is like a Tapestry? Think
>of it as a sentient Tapestry. It likes to follow the majority. If you do

Hiroshi: Reality is a democracy?

Gary: Sure doesn't act like it.

> Nabiki shook her head. "You completely lost me," she stated. "right
>when you said that I had been given the power."
>
> "Ok, think of it like this. Do you watch tv with your family at
>all?" Nabiki nodded.

Daisuke: Well, there's your problem. Quit now while you still have some
brain cells.

> "Well, imagine the tv is reality, you are a mage, and
>the rest of your family is the rest of society. If you don't like what's on
>tv, you can do two things. You can ask whoever's holding the remote to
>change it, or you can grab the remote. If you just grab the remote, there
>is a chance that you will be smacked. Do you understand that?" Nabiki
>nodded mutely. "Good. Now..."
>
>---Three Hours Later---
>
Hiroshi: (Nabiki voice) Now what was that part about the mage?

> Seeing the look on Nabiki's face, Timothy started to wrap things up.
>"There are two other groups, but they aren't important now. What is
>important is that we begin your training. In order for you to do that,
>you'll have to join me in New York. How you get there is your own business,
>but I do have one condition. You can not fly until you reach London. You
>need to learn to depend on yourself, and not money, to get yourself out of
>sticky situations. Now, I'm going to call your family back in here. I'm
>not going to tell them anything that we spoke about. That will be up to
>you, although I think that you can trust that boy with the ponytail."

Hiroshi: The man with the glasses and the handkerchief, on the other
hand...

>
> Bouncing along the rooftops, Ranma prayed that nothing else would
>happen today. He thought about Shampoo crashing into him and Kodachi trying
>to poison him, and as he shifted Akane in his arms, he prayed to all the
>gods and Kami that he knew to let him get home without incedent.

Gary: Incident.

> Ranma thought, and he jumped out of
>the way of the Lost Boy's umbrella. Ranma landed in a crouch, and put the
>sobbing Akane down. He turned as he rose, not taking a combat stance, just
>gazing coldly at Ryoga. Ryoga charged in, raging at the thought that Ranma
>had done something to Akane to make her cry. Ranma didn't move. Ryoga
>threw a right jab directly at Ranma's cold, expressionless face. At the
>last instant, Ranma exploded into motion. He flung out his left arm,
>grabbing Ryoga's wrist and pulling him in. Ranma's right leg flew out and
>swept Ryoga's feet out from under him. As Ryoga was falling, Ranma' right

Gary: Ranma's

>hand lashed out and siezed Ryoga's throat in a death grip.

Gary: Seized
>
> Ryoga looked up into Ranma eyes and saw something there that had
>never been there in any of their previous fights. Rage. Ranma was barely
>in control of himself. It became even more evident when Ranma tried to
>speak to him. "Ryoga, I have had enough of this. If you ever attack me
>again, I will kill you." A strange fire seemed to take over in Ranma's
>eyes, and his grip on Ryoga's throat began to tighten. Ryoga closed his
>eyes, and concentrated his ki. He'd be damned if he wasn't going to take
>Saotome to the grave with him.
>
> Death never came.

Daisuke: She was appearing in a DC comic, and couldn't be bothered.

>Ryoga reappeared with a sleepy looking, but alert, Ranma. "I'm going to
>tell you two something, something that I can't tell anyone else. This...
>experiance has changed me. I have a gift, and I have to learn how to use
>it. In order to do that, I need to go to New York. Thing is, I can't fly
>until I get to London. So I have to cross Asia and Europe on the ground.
>I'm...I'm scared. I don't want to go alone." That last part was hard for
>Nabiki, who had always relied only on herself, to admit. But it was true.
>"I...I need someone to come with me. Ranma..." Ranma looked at Nabiki.
>Nabiki noted how tense he was She reached out with her mind to touch his.
>She felt the turmoil going through him. "...would you go out into the hall
>and get Dr. Black?" Ranma nodded, and tried not to look as relieved as he
>was. He darted out the door to find the doctor. Nabiki turned to Ryoga.
>"Ryoga, please.... Come with me..."

Hiroshi: You think Ryoga's going to get turned into a vampire?

Gary: Are you kidding? (Bela Lugosi-esque voice) Oh no! The sun is
rising and I can't find my cofffin!

>Ja!!

Gary: Jawohl, mein freund!... Uh, I think that's it.

Hiroshi: So what is Nabiki going to do now that she's a mage?

[There's a knock on the door. Gary opens it to find Nabiki on the other
side.]

Gary: Oh, hi, Nabiki! We were just reading this story about you becoming
a mage!

Nabiki: A mage? Moi? How amusing. Anyway, I'm here to see Daisuke. He
said he'd pay me the 5000 yen he owes me today.

Daisuke: I've been locked up here! Where would I get 5000 yen?

Nabiki: You don't have the money?

Daisuke: Nope.

[Lightning leaps from Nabiki's hand and zaps Daisuke]

Hiroshi: I guess that answers that question!

Principal: You gotta give de address!

Daisuke: ...Oh yeah... (groan) ... write to... kleppe@execpc.com and...
tell us which fics you want to see us do.

Principal: Until next time, keiki!