[Gary is at his computer, reading the previous night's FFML output]

Krista Perry wrote:
> Akane looked at him in dismay. "But you're still dead! We
>can't leave you like this."
> Ranma shrugged. "I'm sure there's another author out there
>who's creative enough to fix this mess."
> Akane nodded thoughtfully. "You're right. All we've got
>to do is post this to the ML and *someone* will come to our
>rescue." She glanced over at him. "Although... that does mean
>that there's a strong risk of this becoming a lemon."

Gary: HA HA HA! I wonder how many people won't realize that this is a joke, and actually try to continue it? Nah, nobody could be that....

[Gary's MSTing team, Hiroshi and Daisuke, barge into the room]

Hiroshi: Hey, move over! We've got a fic to finish!

Daisuke: Yeah! Ranma and Akane are counting on us!


"Akane, our only chance is for one of us to get to the dragon. I'll distract these ghosts while you slip past them."

She nodded. "Right. Think you can keep their attention away from me?"

"No sweat." He stepped to the side, then raised his arms to draw their attention. "Listen up, you guys!" he shouted. The murmur of conversation in the room died out. "It's time to start!"

The ghosts scratched their heads. "Uh...," one of them said, "start what?"

Ranma shot a you-are-an-idiot look at the ghost. "The first annual Afterlife Dance Party, of course!" The ghosts started at one another, puzzled. "Cue music!"

Out of nowhere, a disco beat began. Ranma whipped off his Chinese shirt, and quickly donned a white polyester jacket. A singer sang in a falsetto voice. o/~ Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk.... o/~ The ghosts hesitated at first, then started shaking their bodies to the music.

What a brilliant plan! With no one looking at her, Akane slipped over to the wall and pressed the green button by the elevator door.


Gary: Clever idea, guys.

Daisuke: Hey, we figured that the afterlife would have to be pretty dull. These ghosts just had to be dying for a good party!

Gary: But what's gonna happen once Akane gets to the dragon?

Hiroshi: You'll see....


As soon as Akane stepped into the gigantic chamber, she knew that something wasn't right.

It wasn't the slight smell of sulfur in the air. Nor was it the deep, resonating sound of air being sucked back and forth. No, it was the gigantic creature that lay sleeping in the room. Specifically, its color.

It was mauve.

*What kind of dragon is that color?* Akane asked herself.

From below, many voices shouted out. "Kuei kuei conga! Kuei kuei conga!" The dance party was still going on -- but it couldn't last much longer. Akane had to hurry.

She prodded the huge, slumbering frame. "Wake up, mister dragon! We need your help desperately!"

Suddenly, a pair of eyes stared at her. "Hi, Akane! Hyuk hyuk! I want to be your friend! Hyuk hyuk let's sing a song!"

"Aaaaaaaaaa! It's Barney! Kill! Kill!" Her sword lashed out, but only blunted against the creature's hide.

"Oh, don't worry, I love all young people!" His mouth opened wide, revealing razor-sharp fangs. "Especially with a little ketchup! Hyuk hyuk!"

Akane screamed.

Ranma burst into the room, noticing the lifeless, bloody body on the ground. "Oh my God, he's killed 'Kane! That bastard!"


Gary: I don't think this is the kind of ending people want to read, guys.

Daisuke: Okay, okay. I've got another idea....


Akane stared at the colossal, unmoving creature in front of her. Flies buzzed as they traced chaotic orbits around the head. Bruised and blackened, the body stank like a charnel house.

The dragon didn't move. Akane could see in her mind the dragon flying away from China, bored with the same old scenery, only wanting a short vacation. Evidently Yugoslavia had been a bad choice.

How do I know this, thought Akane. How can I see these things, like memories in my own mind.

Posthumous telepathy, a voice in her head answered. You have to know how to do these things when you're a dragon.

Well, it made a sort of sense. I mean, why else would the Chinese Emissary of Death be residing in his basement? "How can you live again?" she asked.

I can't, you idiot! I'm dead! I am no more! I have ceased to be! You know the rest.

"I'll carry you," said Akane. "I'll go from country to country until I find a time and place where you can be brought back. And I'll tell your story to my people, so that perhaps in time they can forgive you too. The way that you've forgiven me."


Gary: Um, guys, does the word "plagiarism" mean anything to you?

Daisuke: It's not plagiarism! It's a fusion!

Hiroshi: Yeah! And anyway, it's Krista's favorite series.

Gary: Be that as it may....

Hiroshi: Hey, wait a minute. I've got another idea.

Daisuke: You do? What is it?

Hiroshi: You know which character has been conspicuously absent from this entire series so far, right?

Daisuke: Uh huh.

Hiroshi: So....


Akane prodded the huge, slumbering frame. "Wake up, mister dragon! We need your help desperately!"

Suddenly, a pair of eyes stared at her. "That's okay. Gotcha covered already."


"I'm bringing Ranma back to life," the deep voice lazily intoned. "Payment's already been made."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Akane reached out to hug the dragon, then decided it might not be a good idea. "But who--"

"Why, Miss Tendo," a voice melodically intoned. "What a surprise to meet you here!"

Akane spun around. "Kodachi?"

"Of course. And while you've been playing around with ghosts, I've arranged with our mutual friend here for darling Ranma's survival."

Akane gaped in shock. "You gave him your blood?"

"Of course not." Kodachi narrowed her eyes haughtily. "The life fluids of the Black Rose are far to precious to be squandered away to some uncouth creature of mythology."

"Hey, I...." The dragon belched. "I resemble that remark."

"No," Kodachi continued, "I merely went around to several hospitals. WIth proper persuasion, they were only too happy to give up their supplies of plasma."

The dragon rubbed its huge stomach. "Tastes bland as hell, but it fills you right up." He turned back to Akane. "Of course, as you've probably guessed, part of the terms of this are that you get sent away again -- this time for good."

Akane sighed. "Back to the kami plane?"

"Nope. That didn't work out so well. This time, I'm sending you to the Plane of Non-stop Wild Lemon Orgies. No one's ever escaped from there. In fact, no one's ever tried."

"Oh well." Akane thought for a moment. "All right, I'll go willingly. But only if I can take one of Kodachi's other rivals along with me."

Kodachi eyed her suspiciously. "Which one?"

"The girl with the pig-tail."

"Um," the dragon said, "you mean the girl who is really...."

"Yes!" Kodachi shouted triumphantly. "Take that foul harridan and begone!"

"We have a deal, then." Akane shook her hand, flashing a Nabiki-like smile. "Nice doing business with you."

"Ah, what the heck," the dragon said. "Who am I to mess up a deal."

"You and the Pig-Tailed Girl? I never would've suspected." Kodachi smirked. "But you do make a good couple. The two of you were meant for each other."

Akane nodded in agreement.


Hiroshi: What do you think?

Gary: It's... unique.

Daisuke: Think Krista will let us finish "Mixed Breed" too?

Gary: That's "Half Breed." And we'll have to see how well people out there liked your ending to this one.

Hiroshi: Right. What do you think, sirs?