The Lifeboat Sketch
Category: Ranma shorts
Posted on May 16, 2013 by Gary
"Still no sign of land... how long is it?"
"Longer than yours, bacon-breath!"
"Ranma no baka! He meant how long have we been in the lifeboat! We'll have to start again!"
______
"Still no sign of land... how long is it?"
"Thirty-three days. We can't go on much longer. We ain't had nothin' to eat since the third day!"
"We're done for! Oh darling Shampoo, I've failed you!"
"Stupid Mousse! Keep quiet! We just need hope someone find us!"
"How you doin', Pop?"
"Not good, boy. I'm going fast. I'm not going to make it, but some of you might. So you'd better eat me."
"Cannibalism? Ugh!"
"A true martial artist's life is filled with cannibalism, boy. Anyway, you needn't eat me in this form. Just a splash of water, and you've got panda steak."
"It's not just that, Saotome..."
"What is it, Tendo? Why don't you want to eat me?"
"It's just that... I'd rather eat Ryoga!"
"Good idea, Dad! I could go for some pork right now!"
"Akane... you knew?"
"Yup. I found out last week. I've been waiting for a chance to brutally maim you for it in some creative way. Now I don't need to! Talk about killing two pigs with one stone!"
"That's all right, I deserve it. Okay, it's settled. Everyone's going to eat me!"
"Oh my. The rest of you go ahead, but I won't."
"Nonsense, Kasumi. You're starving! Tuck in!"
"I'm terribly sorry, Ryoga, but it's just that... you're not kosher."
"Kasumi! I didn't know you were...."
"I should have told you, father. I guess I'm just a little meshuginah. Anyway, I'd rather eat Mousse!"
"Why you all no want eat Shampoo? Cat is delicacy!"
"Look, you guys, why don't we start out by eating Ryoga, then we can make soup out of Mousse, serve Pop cold for supper, and make sandwiches out of Shampoo for lunch tomorrow?"
"Good idea, boy! Waitress?"
"Y'all decided, sugar?"
"Yes. We're going to have...."
Comments
No comments yet
You must be logged in to post comments.