Pools of Horror Part 1: Lili's Story
Category: Major Ranma fanfics
Posted on May 9, 2013 by Gary
This is a sequel (written with permission) to the story "Cursed" by Richard Lawson. "Cursed" is summarized below for the benefit of those who haven't read it, and a draft of it may be found in the various FFML archives (here is one). It was based on an idea from Benjamin Franz's story "Hello Again"; I highly recommend both of these fine works. "Hello Again" was in turn based on an episode of the Ranma 1/2 TV adaptation, which I don't really recommend, but which (the series, not the particular episode) was based on the manga by the esteemed Rumiko Takahashi-sama (which of course I also recommend, though I don't think you needed to hear that from me :)).
The characters of Ranma 1/2 are the creation of and rightful property of Rumiko Takahashi. They are used here without permission. This story may be freely redistributed, but it should not be altered substantially or used for profit in any way.
Comments, criticisms, and all other sorts of feedback are welcomed and appreciated!
WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE: Ranma awoke one day to find strange thoughts in his mind. There was someone else in his head; someone who was neat and tidy and disliked violence. Ranma sought out Cologne, only to find that Shampoo and Mousse were acting like their cat and duck cursed forms. This, Cologne said, was the second-stage result of their Jusenkyo curses. In the same way, Ranma's mind was being replaced by that of the girl who drowned at Jusenkyo fifteen hundred years ago. Cologne took Shampoo and Mousse back to China in hopes of finding a cure, while Ranma struggled inside to hold on to who and what he was -- a struggle that was abruptly cut short as Akane angrily splashed him with cold water.
PART ONE: LILI'S STORY
Feng Lili moved through the woods as quickly as she could, looking for a road or anything else that would show her the way out of the wilderness in which she was lost. The sky was darkening, and if she were not out of this woods by then, she would be spending the night. That thought terrified her. Alone here, her life expectancy was short. Her sixteen years of growing up as the daughter of a well-to-do merchant had given her little experience that would help her survive alone out here.
Lili wished this trip had not been necessary, but it had. This was a time of great turmoil in China. Her father had been forced to pack up his business and his family and move north to Xi'ning. Happily Yang Wei, the man who worked for her father, had come with them. He was a handsome man of noble bearing; Lili's fondest wish was to someday become his wife. Unfortunately, Yang Wei didn't seem to notice her much. Probably because of her unattractive scrawny body, she thought. To make up for that, she liked to make herself appealing by always dressing in fine clothes. She had also become an expert in cooking and all the other duties a good wife ought to be able to perform.
A gang of bandits attacked Lili's father's caravan, putting an end to her plans. She shuddered as she recalled how one of them chased her into the woods. Having heard tell of the things bandits would do to a captured young girl, she ran as fast and as far away as she could. Unfortunately, she never found her way back to the caravan, or even the road.
The sky was almost dark. Lili wandered into what seemed to be a clearing, framed by mountains on the other sides. She could barely see the moonlight reflecting off of something in the clearing. Water? A lake? She went in for a closer look.
Lili heard a sound and turned. A pudgy bald man in peasant clothes was standing next to her, close enough for her to smell his breath.
"Why have you come here?" the man said. "This is a dangerous place. It is very strange for you to be here."
Was there mockery in the man's voice? Or was that just the imagination of a frightened girl? Lili looked, trying to see what was so dangerous, but it had abruptly turned dark. "I'm lost! Can you show me the way to --" She turned back to the man, but he was gone without a trace.
Lili moved, trying to remember which way she had come, not wanting to
stay in such a place. She prayed to any gods that might be listening. She wanted to get out of this place. She wanted to be clean, with clean clothes, and not be a scrawny little kid anymore, and not need to be afraid, and marry Yang Wei, and have him protect her forever, and live a peaceful life far away from whatever horror there was here.
A misstep in the darkness plunged Lili into water. She fell, splashing around under water, desperately trying to hold her breath.
For her sixteen years of growing up as the daughter of a well-to-do merchant had given her little experience at swimming...
***
Fifteen centuries later in a place not too far away, the old woman called Cologne carried a cat into her bathroom, setting it down in the tub. Its contented purring changed abruptly to angry hissing as it noticed a kettle of steaming water that sat on the sink.
"Now, now, your elders know what's best for you." With incredible speed, Cologne's hand struck a point on the cat's body, causing it to instantly fall asleep. It was a pressure point technique, modified for the feline anatomy; something that Cologne frivolously referred to as shi-cat-su. She had developed the technique in case she ever again had to fight Ranma under the influence of his neko-ken training. That was not going to happen, not with the way things were turning out.
The hot water was poured over the unconscious cat, magically transforming it into a very shapely young woman. Shampoo. It had been Cologne's stupid blunder that made her like this. Cologne had taken her to Jusenkyo for retraining, heedless of the legend of the place, and Shampoo fell into one of the pools. The spirit of a cat that had drowned at the place fused with her. She became a cat, first in body but later in mind as well. All because some foolish, stubborn old woman hadn't bothered to find out the truth.
Your elders know what's best for you... how stupidly wrong that was.
That was not the first mistake Cologne had ever made. Still, she had done a lot of good for her Amazon sisters over the years. It was a good life, lasting as it did over a hundred years.
Cologne unscrewed the top from another container of liquid, a small flask. This was half of the amount she had been able to get of the magical water, the precious liquid that would allow her to atone for her mistake. The other half was on its way to Japan, to a certain man whom she had known in her youth. It was an offering, a final chance for him to make something useful out of his life, which was due to be over soon anyway; a way to be remembered for something noble instead of as just an annoyance.
The old woman poured the liquid over her great-granddaughter. The cat-spirit became instantly visible in Cologne's mind's eye, outlined in psychic fire. Her powerful spirit reached out toward the cat.
Here, kitty kitty...
***
Lili awoke. She was distressed to see that the sun had already risen. She was still only half-conscious, feeling as if she had slept the longest sleep in her life. She did not like to sleep too much. Getting up early always helped her finish her assigned chores around her home more quickly, which pleased her father.
It became at once obvious to her, even in her half-asleep state, that this was not her home. The room was in disarray, with clothes and various other unrecognizable objects left randomly about.
She noticed her clothes. This wasn't something a girl like her could wear! Then she noticed herself. There was no more thin and scrawny young girl. She was strong, muscular, and full-chested. How? How long had she been here?
Lili thought back. The last thing she remembered was walking in the dark. Water. She had fallen in water. Then there was a dream. A dream of being someone else. She strained to remember, but could not; the dream had disappeared. She thought that perhaps she had been kidnapped by bandits and brought here, wherever this was. Or perhaps she had simply gone mad and been locked away here? Perhaps both?
A muffled noise was heard. The sounds of someone breathing? Lili turned to look. It came from some large object covered by a sheet next to where she had been sleeping. Slowly, with trepidation, she lifted up the sheet to see what it was.
She saw a panda.
She pulled the sheet back down over it, covering it completely, as if that would mean that it wasn't there anymore. How? How could she have been sleeping next to a dirty, smelly animal?
The girl moved from the bed and stood up, trying not to disturb the... thing... under the covers. She had to try to get out of this place. Clothes. She would need clothes. She searched for something suitable. The closet was full of things a boy might wear. In the very back was a dress. It would have to do. It was nothing like what she was used to, but at least it somehow felt feminine. At least wearing it didn't make her feel like she was wearing boy's clothes. Underneath she still had on what she had been sleeping in, but that couldn't be helped for now.
Cautiously, Lili made her way downstairs. She didn't know who or what might try to stop her from escaping. Hopefully she could slip by without them noticing her.
A woman waiting at the bottom of the stairs had noticed Lili. The woman smiled warmly. She spoke words that Lili was unfamiliar with, but, strangely, Lili began to comprehend the speech. The woman was telling her that she was late, that she was supposed to be somewhere, handing her some sort of container and pointing her out a door.
Lili went out the door. She had understood a good part of the words, but had no idea what they referred to. Perhaps, she thought, she was still insane.
***
Elsewhere, a young man walked through a crowded shopping center. He had come so that he could be among people. He didn't generally like people all that much, but the urges that had recently started within him threatened to overpower his mind when he was alone. His intelligence was something he valued strongly. He had to try to save it.
Of course, people had never done much for him. His whole life had been a disaster from day one. He thought of the old man, and the urges grew stronger. One word. The old man had completely and utterly ruined his life with one carelessly-chosen word.
Yes, everything was the old man's fault. He could give in to the chaotic urges and start destroying everything. People would run screaming, people who never did anything for him anyway, they would run in terror, and the old man would look at everything and realize whose fault it all was...
The young man jumped into the shopping mall's decorative fountain. The urges were too strong to resist. He rose, transformed into a multi-tentacled minotaur-like creature. At that moment Pantyhose Taro was no more.
The crowd ran from the creature, screaming.
***
This was the strangest place that Lili had ever been in.
The first thing she had noticed was the cars. People rode inside metal creatures, or perhaps magically-propelled carts, to get where they were going.
Then she had found the shopping place. An incredible selection of goods was available, including many things that Lili did not understand at all. She purchased a set of underwear that felt properly feminine to her, using some monies that she had found in the room where she had been sleeping. Everyone in this strange land seemed to have money to buy things. There was no peasant class -- or perhaps all of the peasants were kept somewhere out of sight.
Lili spent hours just walking, looking for anything familiar. She desperately wanted to find her way home, or at least back to any place that she knew. At least, she thought, she did not need to worry about being molested by bandits here. Surely such a thing would not happen amidst so many people.
Without warning, something jumped out from behind a bush, attaching itself firmly to Lili's chest.
It was an old, very diminutive man. "Hi there, sweetie!" he said in the strange language of this place as he fondled Lili's breasts.
"Eeeeeeeee!!!!!" Lili screamed an uncontrollable, hysterical wail.
She fell to her knees, crying, the old man still attached. This was simply too much, she could not deal with any more. She wanted to go home. She wanted her father, or Yang Wei, to come and rescue her, take her from this mad, insane place. But deep down she knew that wouldn't happen. She was damned to here for an eternity, and would never see anyone she knew again.
A hand grabbed the old man by his garment, pulling him away from the girl. "I shall not allow you to terrorize innocent women, not while I stand," a new voice said. Lili could not stop crying.
"It's just a bit of fun," the old man said innocently. "A training exercise. C'mon and catch me, Ranma!"
Happosai paused. Something was obviously wrong with Ranma. He should have been enraged, should have been chasing the old man trying to make him regret what he did. Instead Happosai's victim seemed on the verge of a complete breakdown. Before him was not a martial artist, rather a young girl with terror in her eyes.
This wasn't fun anymore. There was a serious problem here, one that the old lecher did not want to involve himself in. He bounded off in search of other pursuits. Someone else would figure out what was wrong with Ranma.
"Are you all right, my love?" Lili's rescuer asked.
She slowly looked up, trying to believe that it would be all right now. The man wore robes and carried a wooden sword.
"Fear not, no harm shall come to you. You are under the protection of the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"
Lili looked up further, finally able to see the man's face. It was him. It was Yang Wei.
Or at least it looked like him. "Are you really Yang Wei?" she asked in Chinese, a glimmer of hope in her soul. The man obviously did not understand, and she repeated the question in the strange new language that she somehow knew.
"Ah, but the encounter with the vile lecher has left you stunned, for you could not forget that I am Tatewaki Kuno, your most humble and faithful admirer. To you, pig-tailed girl, am I devoted with a love that I could feel for no other."
Tatewaki and Lili then noticed that they were being stared at, by a short-haired girl with an angry expression.
***
It had not been a good day for Akane Tendo.
It was the day of her Trigonometry exam. Ranma had agreed to study with her the night before. Instead, all he did was babble gibberish at her all evening long. Then he fell asleep, and Akane's dad had to carry him up to his room. In the morning he didn't even get up out of bed for his exam. Akane waited for him to get up, and finally had to leave without him. Even so, she was late and the Principal made her scrub out all the toilets in the first floor ladies' room before her exam.
On her way home from school, Akane spotted Ranma talking to Kuno. He was in his girl form, as he had been all of last night since she had angrily splashed him the afternoon before. He wore a dress, the same one he had worn as "Ryoga's fiancee". What scam was he trying to pull with Kuno here?
Akane glared at Ranma and Kuno, clearing her throat to get their attention. "Ranma! What are you doing here?!?"
Ranma backed away towards Kuno, as if expecting the kendoist to protect him. "You must be mistaken," he said timidly. "My name is Feng Lili. I am..."
"You could've at least gotten a decent disguise this time. Did you honestly think you'd fool anybody with this act? Is there anybody who could be stupid enough to fall for this?"
"Please calm yourself, Akane Tendo," Kuno said. "The pig-tailed girl is obviously distraught. This does not lessen my passion for you! Be not jealous!"
"JEALOUS??!?" Akane kicked Kuno away. Ranma looked at her with what appeared to be fear in his eyes. Akane grabbed him by the arm and strode forcefully toward home.
***
Police officer Usugurai wasn't worried.
His sources all told him that the people who frequented the Tendo Dojo redefined the word eccentric, but that they were top-notch fighters, and always came through when there was a crisis. Which there was.
At least the sensei seemed to accept his story. It was the truth, but even he had trouble believing that it wasn't just a dream or the plot from a movie.
"You've come to the right place," Soun Tendo reassured the policeman. "A monster tearing up the suburbs, eh? We'll soon put a stop to that. We happen to have one of the finest young martial artists in Japan here at the dojo. If anyone can sort out this monster, he can."
Kasumi looked out the window. "Oh look! Akane and Ranma are home!" P-chan ran towards the door with an excited Bweeeee!!!
The two young people came in the door. One of them, the short-haired girl, was forcibly dragging the other along. The girl with the pig-tail was protesting frantically. "Let me go!"
"Officer Usugurai, please allow me to introduce my daughter Akane," Soun said. "And this is Ranma Saotome, the young man who will be able to defeat your monster. If he can't do it, no one can."
"Er... 'young man'?" Usugurai did not need to use his police observation training to discern that the person the sensei had pointed out was in fact a young woman.
Akane was paying no attention to her father at the moment. "All right, Ranma. I've had enough of this! Just what is your problem??" Meanwhile, P-chan jumped happily into her arms.
"Stop -- stop pushing me around!! I just --" The pig-tailed girl struggled to speak, on the verge of tears. "I just can't deal with violence!!"
Now Usugurai was worried.
The characters of Ranma 1/2 are the creation of and rightful property of Rumiko Takahashi. They are used here without permission. This story may be freely redistributed, but it should not be altered substantially or used for profit in any way.
Comments, criticisms, and all other sorts of feedback are welcomed and appreciated!
WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE: Ranma awoke one day to find strange thoughts in his mind. There was someone else in his head; someone who was neat and tidy and disliked violence. Ranma sought out Cologne, only to find that Shampoo and Mousse were acting like their cat and duck cursed forms. This, Cologne said, was the second-stage result of their Jusenkyo curses. In the same way, Ranma's mind was being replaced by that of the girl who drowned at Jusenkyo fifteen hundred years ago. Cologne took Shampoo and Mousse back to China in hopes of finding a cure, while Ranma struggled inside to hold on to who and what he was -- a struggle that was abruptly cut short as Akane angrily splashed him with cold water.
PART ONE: LILI'S STORY
Feng Lili moved through the woods as quickly as she could, looking for a road or anything else that would show her the way out of the wilderness in which she was lost. The sky was darkening, and if she were not out of this woods by then, she would be spending the night. That thought terrified her. Alone here, her life expectancy was short. Her sixteen years of growing up as the daughter of a well-to-do merchant had given her little experience that would help her survive alone out here.
Lili wished this trip had not been necessary, but it had. This was a time of great turmoil in China. Her father had been forced to pack up his business and his family and move north to Xi'ning. Happily Yang Wei, the man who worked for her father, had come with them. He was a handsome man of noble bearing; Lili's fondest wish was to someday become his wife. Unfortunately, Yang Wei didn't seem to notice her much. Probably because of her unattractive scrawny body, she thought. To make up for that, she liked to make herself appealing by always dressing in fine clothes. She had also become an expert in cooking and all the other duties a good wife ought to be able to perform.
A gang of bandits attacked Lili's father's caravan, putting an end to her plans. She shuddered as she recalled how one of them chased her into the woods. Having heard tell of the things bandits would do to a captured young girl, she ran as fast and as far away as she could. Unfortunately, she never found her way back to the caravan, or even the road.
The sky was almost dark. Lili wandered into what seemed to be a clearing, framed by mountains on the other sides. She could barely see the moonlight reflecting off of something in the clearing. Water? A lake? She went in for a closer look.
Lili heard a sound and turned. A pudgy bald man in peasant clothes was standing next to her, close enough for her to smell his breath.
"Why have you come here?" the man said. "This is a dangerous place. It is very strange for you to be here."
Was there mockery in the man's voice? Or was that just the imagination of a frightened girl? Lili looked, trying to see what was so dangerous, but it had abruptly turned dark. "I'm lost! Can you show me the way to --" She turned back to the man, but he was gone without a trace.
Lili moved, trying to remember which way she had come, not wanting to
stay in such a place. She prayed to any gods that might be listening. She wanted to get out of this place. She wanted to be clean, with clean clothes, and not be a scrawny little kid anymore, and not need to be afraid, and marry Yang Wei, and have him protect her forever, and live a peaceful life far away from whatever horror there was here.
A misstep in the darkness plunged Lili into water. She fell, splashing around under water, desperately trying to hold her breath.
For her sixteen years of growing up as the daughter of a well-to-do merchant had given her little experience at swimming...
***
Fifteen centuries later in a place not too far away, the old woman called Cologne carried a cat into her bathroom, setting it down in the tub. Its contented purring changed abruptly to angry hissing as it noticed a kettle of steaming water that sat on the sink.
"Now, now, your elders know what's best for you." With incredible speed, Cologne's hand struck a point on the cat's body, causing it to instantly fall asleep. It was a pressure point technique, modified for the feline anatomy; something that Cologne frivolously referred to as shi-cat-su. She had developed the technique in case she ever again had to fight Ranma under the influence of his neko-ken training. That was not going to happen, not with the way things were turning out.
The hot water was poured over the unconscious cat, magically transforming it into a very shapely young woman. Shampoo. It had been Cologne's stupid blunder that made her like this. Cologne had taken her to Jusenkyo for retraining, heedless of the legend of the place, and Shampoo fell into one of the pools. The spirit of a cat that had drowned at the place fused with her. She became a cat, first in body but later in mind as well. All because some foolish, stubborn old woman hadn't bothered to find out the truth.
Your elders know what's best for you... how stupidly wrong that was.
That was not the first mistake Cologne had ever made. Still, she had done a lot of good for her Amazon sisters over the years. It was a good life, lasting as it did over a hundred years.
Cologne unscrewed the top from another container of liquid, a small flask. This was half of the amount she had been able to get of the magical water, the precious liquid that would allow her to atone for her mistake. The other half was on its way to Japan, to a certain man whom she had known in her youth. It was an offering, a final chance for him to make something useful out of his life, which was due to be over soon anyway; a way to be remembered for something noble instead of as just an annoyance.
The old woman poured the liquid over her great-granddaughter. The cat-spirit became instantly visible in Cologne's mind's eye, outlined in psychic fire. Her powerful spirit reached out toward the cat.
Here, kitty kitty...
***
Lili awoke. She was distressed to see that the sun had already risen. She was still only half-conscious, feeling as if she had slept the longest sleep in her life. She did not like to sleep too much. Getting up early always helped her finish her assigned chores around her home more quickly, which pleased her father.
It became at once obvious to her, even in her half-asleep state, that this was not her home. The room was in disarray, with clothes and various other unrecognizable objects left randomly about.
She noticed her clothes. This wasn't something a girl like her could wear! Then she noticed herself. There was no more thin and scrawny young girl. She was strong, muscular, and full-chested. How? How long had she been here?
Lili thought back. The last thing she remembered was walking in the dark. Water. She had fallen in water. Then there was a dream. A dream of being someone else. She strained to remember, but could not; the dream had disappeared. She thought that perhaps she had been kidnapped by bandits and brought here, wherever this was. Or perhaps she had simply gone mad and been locked away here? Perhaps both?
A muffled noise was heard. The sounds of someone breathing? Lili turned to look. It came from some large object covered by a sheet next to where she had been sleeping. Slowly, with trepidation, she lifted up the sheet to see what it was.
She saw a panda.
She pulled the sheet back down over it, covering it completely, as if that would mean that it wasn't there anymore. How? How could she have been sleeping next to a dirty, smelly animal?
The girl moved from the bed and stood up, trying not to disturb the... thing... under the covers. She had to try to get out of this place. Clothes. She would need clothes. She searched for something suitable. The closet was full of things a boy might wear. In the very back was a dress. It would have to do. It was nothing like what she was used to, but at least it somehow felt feminine. At least wearing it didn't make her feel like she was wearing boy's clothes. Underneath she still had on what she had been sleeping in, but that couldn't be helped for now.
Cautiously, Lili made her way downstairs. She didn't know who or what might try to stop her from escaping. Hopefully she could slip by without them noticing her.
A woman waiting at the bottom of the stairs had noticed Lili. The woman smiled warmly. She spoke words that Lili was unfamiliar with, but, strangely, Lili began to comprehend the speech. The woman was telling her that she was late, that she was supposed to be somewhere, handing her some sort of container and pointing her out a door.
Lili went out the door. She had understood a good part of the words, but had no idea what they referred to. Perhaps, she thought, she was still insane.
***
Elsewhere, a young man walked through a crowded shopping center. He had come so that he could be among people. He didn't generally like people all that much, but the urges that had recently started within him threatened to overpower his mind when he was alone. His intelligence was something he valued strongly. He had to try to save it.
Of course, people had never done much for him. His whole life had been a disaster from day one. He thought of the old man, and the urges grew stronger. One word. The old man had completely and utterly ruined his life with one carelessly-chosen word.
Yes, everything was the old man's fault. He could give in to the chaotic urges and start destroying everything. People would run screaming, people who never did anything for him anyway, they would run in terror, and the old man would look at everything and realize whose fault it all was...
The young man jumped into the shopping mall's decorative fountain. The urges were too strong to resist. He rose, transformed into a multi-tentacled minotaur-like creature. At that moment Pantyhose Taro was no more.
The crowd ran from the creature, screaming.
***
This was the strangest place that Lili had ever been in.
The first thing she had noticed was the cars. People rode inside metal creatures, or perhaps magically-propelled carts, to get where they were going.
Then she had found the shopping place. An incredible selection of goods was available, including many things that Lili did not understand at all. She purchased a set of underwear that felt properly feminine to her, using some monies that she had found in the room where she had been sleeping. Everyone in this strange land seemed to have money to buy things. There was no peasant class -- or perhaps all of the peasants were kept somewhere out of sight.
Lili spent hours just walking, looking for anything familiar. She desperately wanted to find her way home, or at least back to any place that she knew. At least, she thought, she did not need to worry about being molested by bandits here. Surely such a thing would not happen amidst so many people.
Without warning, something jumped out from behind a bush, attaching itself firmly to Lili's chest.
It was an old, very diminutive man. "Hi there, sweetie!" he said in the strange language of this place as he fondled Lili's breasts.
"Eeeeeeeee!!!!!" Lili screamed an uncontrollable, hysterical wail.
She fell to her knees, crying, the old man still attached. This was simply too much, she could not deal with any more. She wanted to go home. She wanted her father, or Yang Wei, to come and rescue her, take her from this mad, insane place. But deep down she knew that wouldn't happen. She was damned to here for an eternity, and would never see anyone she knew again.
A hand grabbed the old man by his garment, pulling him away from the girl. "I shall not allow you to terrorize innocent women, not while I stand," a new voice said. Lili could not stop crying.
"It's just a bit of fun," the old man said innocently. "A training exercise. C'mon and catch me, Ranma!"
Happosai paused. Something was obviously wrong with Ranma. He should have been enraged, should have been chasing the old man trying to make him regret what he did. Instead Happosai's victim seemed on the verge of a complete breakdown. Before him was not a martial artist, rather a young girl with terror in her eyes.
This wasn't fun anymore. There was a serious problem here, one that the old lecher did not want to involve himself in. He bounded off in search of other pursuits. Someone else would figure out what was wrong with Ranma.
"Are you all right, my love?" Lili's rescuer asked.
She slowly looked up, trying to believe that it would be all right now. The man wore robes and carried a wooden sword.
"Fear not, no harm shall come to you. You are under the protection of the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"
Lili looked up further, finally able to see the man's face. It was him. It was Yang Wei.
Or at least it looked like him. "Are you really Yang Wei?" she asked in Chinese, a glimmer of hope in her soul. The man obviously did not understand, and she repeated the question in the strange new language that she somehow knew.
"Ah, but the encounter with the vile lecher has left you stunned, for you could not forget that I am Tatewaki Kuno, your most humble and faithful admirer. To you, pig-tailed girl, am I devoted with a love that I could feel for no other."
Tatewaki and Lili then noticed that they were being stared at, by a short-haired girl with an angry expression.
***
It had not been a good day for Akane Tendo.
It was the day of her Trigonometry exam. Ranma had agreed to study with her the night before. Instead, all he did was babble gibberish at her all evening long. Then he fell asleep, and Akane's dad had to carry him up to his room. In the morning he didn't even get up out of bed for his exam. Akane waited for him to get up, and finally had to leave without him. Even so, she was late and the Principal made her scrub out all the toilets in the first floor ladies' room before her exam.
On her way home from school, Akane spotted Ranma talking to Kuno. He was in his girl form, as he had been all of last night since she had angrily splashed him the afternoon before. He wore a dress, the same one he had worn as "Ryoga's fiancee". What scam was he trying to pull with Kuno here?
Akane glared at Ranma and Kuno, clearing her throat to get their attention. "Ranma! What are you doing here?!?"
Ranma backed away towards Kuno, as if expecting the kendoist to protect him. "You must be mistaken," he said timidly. "My name is Feng Lili. I am..."
"You could've at least gotten a decent disguise this time. Did you honestly think you'd fool anybody with this act? Is there anybody who could be stupid enough to fall for this?"
"Please calm yourself, Akane Tendo," Kuno said. "The pig-tailed girl is obviously distraught. This does not lessen my passion for you! Be not jealous!"
"JEALOUS??!?" Akane kicked Kuno away. Ranma looked at her with what appeared to be fear in his eyes. Akane grabbed him by the arm and strode forcefully toward home.
***
Police officer Usugurai wasn't worried.
His sources all told him that the people who frequented the Tendo Dojo redefined the word eccentric, but that they were top-notch fighters, and always came through when there was a crisis. Which there was.
At least the sensei seemed to accept his story. It was the truth, but even he had trouble believing that it wasn't just a dream or the plot from a movie.
"You've come to the right place," Soun Tendo reassured the policeman. "A monster tearing up the suburbs, eh? We'll soon put a stop to that. We happen to have one of the finest young martial artists in Japan here at the dojo. If anyone can sort out this monster, he can."
Kasumi looked out the window. "Oh look! Akane and Ranma are home!" P-chan ran towards the door with an excited Bweeeee!!!
The two young people came in the door. One of them, the short-haired girl, was forcibly dragging the other along. The girl with the pig-tail was protesting frantically. "Let me go!"
"Officer Usugurai, please allow me to introduce my daughter Akane," Soun said. "And this is Ranma Saotome, the young man who will be able to defeat your monster. If he can't do it, no one can."
"Er... 'young man'?" Usugurai did not need to use his police observation training to discern that the person the sensei had pointed out was in fact a young woman.
Akane was paying no attention to her father at the moment. "All right, Ranma. I've had enough of this! Just what is your problem??" Meanwhile, P-chan jumped happily into her arms.
"Stop -- stop pushing me around!! I just --" The pig-tailed girl struggled to speak, on the verge of tears. "I just can't deal with violence!!"
Now Usugurai was worried.
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