"You wanted to see me, sir?"

I looked up. "Ah. Officer Mihoshi." She stood proudly in front of my desk, somehow managing to look more like a stewardess than a police woman in uniform. "Sit down."

"Yes, sir!" An enthusiastic military-style salute knocked the cap from her head onto the floor. Picking it up, she sat down, dropping it into her lap.

"This isn't the military, officer. Just the Anime Police." Christ, I thought. A head as empty as Mr. Yotsuya's official autobiography. Letting women join the force was a mistake.

"Yes, sir." She produced a notepad from a pocket. "Not the military... just the Anime Police," she muttered to herself as she wrote. "Will there be a test on this?"

Sighing, I swiveled my computer screen around so that she could see the image on it. "This is Mr. Xelloss, a clergyman. He's filed a complaint for acts of theft, vandalism, and assault against his parishioners and himself. I want you to bring in the guilty party."

"Yes, sir!" Her cap fell to the floor as she stood up and saluted again. "I'll get right on it, sir!" She marched out of the room.

I looked at my watch. Five, four, three, two....

Officer Mihoshi poked her head back in. "Do we have any idea who the guilty party is, sir?"

"Mr. Xelloss has helped us put together a composite sketch." I clicked my mouse and pointed to the computer screen. "Look at this."

Mihoshi stared at the image. "Young woman... red hair... angry expression... Lina Inverse, sir?" She put a hand over her lip. "Oh dear. She's not going to be easy to track down, is she."

"Probably not."

"Hmmm." Mulling the description over in my head, I thought about how things in police work were rarely as simple as they seemed.

"Idea, sir?"

"Maybe. Let's start by bringing in someone else for questioning."

*

Mihoshi ushered a teenager into my office. A shapely female body bulged out from under Ranma Saotome's Chinese-style shirt. "What the heck is this all about? Who are you?"

"I'm Anime Police Superintendent Nansubetekoresoreni," I said in a businesslike voice. "I just have a few questions for you. You are Ranma Saotome?"

"Yeah. But I'm not the one you--"

"Just answer the questions, please. Now where were you on the...." I looked up and, noticing the kid's hair, blinked and looked again. "Mihoshi, what is this? Ranma doesn't fit the description!"

"That's what I been tryin' to tell ya!" Ranma said. "You got the wrong guy. I'm canon Ranma. It's anime Ranma who has the red hair!"

"Shall I take Ranma back and bring in Anime-Ranma, sir?" Mihoshi asked.

I thought for a moment. "Yes, and no. Just take this young... er, man back where you found him, and report back here."

"Yes, sir!" Mihoshi escorted Ranma out the office. I stared at the computer screen, switching from image to image with each click of the mouse. Was it possible that this was much bigger than even I had suspected?

*

"We'd suspected a connection between Anime-Ranma and Lina based on appearances. But take a look at this." I rotated my computer monitor around so Mihoshi could see it.

"Oh!" She peered at the image of a horned woman in a tiger-striped bikini. "You mean Anime-Ranma actually looks like Lum?"

"No, this is Lum. But suppose we assume that her horns and the points on her ears are fakes, and that her hair is a dye job." I clicked the mouse.

Mihoshi gasped. "Goodness, she looks like Lina too!"

"Exactly. And it doesn't stop there. I've gone through the files and identified a whole slew of anime women who resemble Lina just as much as Anime-Ranma does, apart from some easily disguised superficial features. You know what this means? If my theory is right, all these women are involved in the conspiracy! They're all related, possibly even the same person!"

"What else do you know about this conspiracy, Superintendent?" Mihoshi's voice, her entire manner changed. Her eyes hardened into a steel gaze. She wasn't bubbly anymore.

"You... you're..."

"That's right." She smirked. "Clever of you to finally figure it out. But not quite clever enough." Fiery energy flared in ripples around her raised arm. "Now die. Moko Takabisha Divine Retribution Flare Arrow!!"

As the flames leapt forward to consume me, I had only one thought.

Letting women join the force was a BIG mistake.