[A quartet of singers are on stage, namely AKANE, KODACHI, SHAMPOO, and UKYO. RANMA stands nearby.]

AKS and U

He is Ranma Sa-o-to-me, and we are each his fiancee!

SHAMPOO

He is Ranma Sa-o-to-me,
and I am his best fiancee!

I speak Chinese, I bust through walls
when I come in a room;
If interfere with my plans,
I give you Kiss of Doom!

AK and U

She speaks Chinese... (etc.)

AKS and U

He is Ranma Sa-o-to-me,
and we are each his fiancee!

AKANE

He is Ranma Sa-o-to-me,
and I am his best fiancee!

My dad engaged me to this jerk,
I didn't ask for that;
If Ranma's with another girl,
I'll stomp him 'til he's flat!

KS and U

Her dad engaged her... (etc.)

AKS and U

He is Ranma Sa-o-to-me,
and we are each his fiancee!

UKYO

He is Ranma Sa-o-to-me,
and I am his best fiancee!

I'm Ranma's selfless, kind best friend,
or so my fanboys dream;
The Haunted Cave of Lost Love
will be my latest scheme!

AK and S

She's Ranma's... (etc.)

AKS and U

He is Ranma Sa-o-to-me,
and we are each his fiancee!

KODACHI

He is Ranma Sa-o-to-me,
and I am his best fiancee!

My darling says he loves me not,
yet still do I persist;
he'll be with medication
unable to resist!

AS and U

Her darling says he... (etc.)

AKS and U

He is Ranma Sa-o-to-me,
and we are each his fiancee!

[The four girls look toward Ranma]

Um... I am Ranma Sa-o-to-me,
and they are each my fiancee!

Uh....

To choose but one would break three hearts;
compassion makes me flee;
besides, the ones who I don't pick
will beat the crap outta me!

AKS and U

To choose but one would... HEY!!

[Ranma tries to run, but is knocked down by a flutty of thrown spatulas, clubs, and other objects. A general melee breaks out as the lights dim and the curtain closes.]