There Goes the Neighborhood: Blooper Reel
Category: Major Ranma fanfics
Posted on May 8, 2013 by Gary
THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD -- THE BLOOPERS
(Reel 1)
PROLOGUE
(The scene is somewhere in rural China. It is a desolate, mountainous area. A caption reads "Rural China, several months ago". A young man, somewhat thin in shabby peasant clothes, is standing as if waiting for something. He spots it, namely an ordinary-looking young woman. They run toward each other as if about to embrace each other. They have lovesick expressions on their faces.)
Man: Chu Mai!
Woman: Yu Ren! (They embrace and kiss each other.) {You came!}
Man: Huh huh huh huh huh she said "came"...
Director: CUT! I hate working with guest actors...
PART 1 SCENE 2
Ranma: No problem. I can take care of this thing right now. (He grabs the food that Akane had been trying to force on him earlier.)
Akane: Where are you going with that?
Ranma: To flush it down the toilet. If there's a creature in the sewers, this'll kill it for sure.
(Suddenly Kodachi bounds in from nowhere)
Kodachi: HOHOHOHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHAHAHA!!!!! (Her ribbon snags Akane's cooking) You need not fear this evil confection, Ranma darling!
Director: CUT! Kodachi, you're not supposed to be in this fic!
Kodachi: Where my dearest Ranma goes, I go!
PART 2 SCENE 2
Ranma: Take a look at this picture. This is Ranma Saotome. He'll probably be around here now and again. He's my, uh, my fiance. So if you see him around my room at odd times or anything, it's OK.
Director: CUT! Doesn't anyone read the stage directions? Ranma is supposed to be FEMALE in this scene!!!
Ranma: D'Oh!
PART 3 SCENE 2
Shampoo: Ni hao!
Ranma: Shampoo! What the heck are you doing here?
Shampoo: Shampoo bring breakfast! Hot dumplings and tea!
Ranma: An empty plate? (Turns around) MR YOTSUYA!!
Yotsuya: A delectable meal, my compliments young lady.
Director: CUT!
(Nozumu Nikaido is seen off to one side)
Nikaido: Excuse me, but I'm having trouble following this. Is Shampoo Ranma's girlfriend?
Shampoo: No. Shampoo Ranma's wife!
Nikaido: Oh. Then what about Akane?
Director: Akane is Ranma's fiancee.
Nikaido: Then Ranma and Akane are in love?
Ranma & Akane: NO!!
Director: Somebody please get another plate of food...
PART 3 SCENE 2
Shampoo: Ni hao!
Ranma: Shampoo! What the heck are you doing here?
Shampoo: Shampoo bring breakfast! Hot dumplings and tea! (Ranma starts eating and immediately collapses)
Shampoo: Ranma! What wrong!
(Kodachi bounds down again)
Kodachi: HOHOHOHAHA! I was only too glad to supply the prop people with some of my special food!
Director: CUT!
(Kodachi glomps Ranma, but Shampoo and Akane start pulling her off)
Nikaido: I'VE GOT IT! Ranma is in love with MANAGER KYOKO!! Right?
All: NO!!!!!!!!!
(Reel 1)
PROLOGUE
(The scene is somewhere in rural China. It is a desolate, mountainous area. A caption reads "Rural China, several months ago". A young man, somewhat thin in shabby peasant clothes, is standing as if waiting for something. He spots it, namely an ordinary-looking young woman. They run toward each other as if about to embrace each other. They have lovesick expressions on their faces.)
Man: Chu Mai!
Woman: Yu Ren! (They embrace and kiss each other.) {You came!}
Man: Huh huh huh huh huh she said "came"...
Director: CUT! I hate working with guest actors...
PART 1 SCENE 2
Ranma: No problem. I can take care of this thing right now. (He grabs the food that Akane had been trying to force on him earlier.)
Akane: Where are you going with that?
Ranma: To flush it down the toilet. If there's a creature in the sewers, this'll kill it for sure.
(Suddenly Kodachi bounds in from nowhere)
Kodachi: HOHOHOHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHAHAHA!!!!! (Her ribbon snags Akane's cooking) You need not fear this evil confection, Ranma darling!
Director: CUT! Kodachi, you're not supposed to be in this fic!
Kodachi: Where my dearest Ranma goes, I go!
PART 2 SCENE 2
Ranma: Take a look at this picture. This is Ranma Saotome. He'll probably be around here now and again. He's my, uh, my fiance. So if you see him around my room at odd times or anything, it's OK.
Director: CUT! Doesn't anyone read the stage directions? Ranma is supposed to be FEMALE in this scene!!!
Ranma: D'Oh!
PART 3 SCENE 2
Shampoo: Ni hao!
Ranma: Shampoo! What the heck are you doing here?
Shampoo: Shampoo bring breakfast! Hot dumplings and tea!
Ranma: An empty plate? (Turns around) MR YOTSUYA!!
Yotsuya: A delectable meal, my compliments young lady.
Director: CUT!
(Nozumu Nikaido is seen off to one side)
Nikaido: Excuse me, but I'm having trouble following this. Is Shampoo Ranma's girlfriend?
Shampoo: No. Shampoo Ranma's wife!
Nikaido: Oh. Then what about Akane?
Director: Akane is Ranma's fiancee.
Nikaido: Then Ranma and Akane are in love?
Ranma & Akane: NO!!
Director: Somebody please get another plate of food...
PART 3 SCENE 2
Shampoo: Ni hao!
Ranma: Shampoo! What the heck are you doing here?
Shampoo: Shampoo bring breakfast! Hot dumplings and tea! (Ranma starts eating and immediately collapses)
Shampoo: Ranma! What wrong!
(Kodachi bounds down again)
Kodachi: HOHOHOHAHA! I was only too glad to supply the prop people with some of my special food!
Director: CUT!
(Kodachi glomps Ranma, but Shampoo and Akane start pulling her off)
Nikaido: I'VE GOT IT! Ranma is in love with MANAGER KYOKO!! Right?
All: NO!!!!!!!!!
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