[Scene: Gary, Hiroshi, and Daisuke are sitting around a mostly bare
room, looking bored.]

Hiroshi: I'm bored.

Daisuke: Yeah, you look that way.

Gary: Hey, you guys, we're on Shonen Sunday Theater 3000! The Principal
must be sending us another fic to comment on!

[The computer monitor in the room turns on, to show the Principal with
Ms. Hinako.]

Principal: Aloooha, keiki! Today we got de biiiiig surprise!

Hiroshi: A fic for us to comment on?

Principal: How ya guessin'?

Daisuke: We're psychic. I don't suppose it's a lemon?

Hinako: You naughty boys aren't old enough for lemons! I hope it's some
nice, wholesome WAFF. WAFF is yummy!

Principal: De fic is "Wasurerarenai" by Emily Siazon. It ain't quite
WAFF, but it got de romantic bits.

Hiroshi: It IS a lemon then!

Gary: Not those 'bits', moron!

Principal: Roll 'em!

[Screen dissolves into the fanfic....]

Emily Siazon wrote in archive/latest/48606:

>"WASURERARENAI"(Unforgettable)

Daisuke: The title of this fic is Unforgettable.

Gary: I always forget how to spell it, though.

>An alternative reality fanfic written by Emily Siazon.

Hiroshi: Isn't what that kid says to turn into Captain Marvel?
"SIAZON!!"

>Chapter 14
>**********
>
> "Wait up," Ranma yelled as he ran up the hill towards Akane. He
>had almost missed her in her hurry to save Shinnosuke. Fortunately,
Daisuke: And here I thought Ranma had a good aim.

>Ranma caught a glimpse of her as he was leaving his tent.
>
> Akane gave the stranger an odd look and answered, "Do I know
>you?"
>
> "I'm Ranma."
>
> she wondered. "You
>wouldn't happen to be violent, would you?"
>
> "That's _rampant_."

Daisuke: Uh... what?

Hiroshi: That joke's not very good.

Gary: Can we help come up with a better one, guys?

Hiroshi: "You wouldn't happen to be a short poem with only two rhymes
throughout and opening words used twice in refrain, would you?"

Gary: What the heck is that?

Hiroshi: Rondeau!

Gary: Too obscure.

Hiroshi: How about "a piece of music with leading theme that occurs..."

Gary: Give me that dictionary back.

Daisuke: Maybe we should just forget it.

> "No way! It's too dangerous!" Ranma yelled back while he tried to
>protect her from the falling debris.
>
> "But it's to save Shinnosuke's life!" Receiving no answer, she
>looked up at his impassive face and snarled. "You bastard! You want
>him dead, don't you?!"
>
> Akane pried herself away from him and glared before she stalked
>outside. "I hate you."
>
Gary: Ouch, that's nasty.

Daisuke: Look on the bright side. If she hates Ranma, maybe she'll go
out with us!

Gary: Not likely.

> It had seemed so simple when he had left Nerima yesterday. He had
>decided to help her. Because it was the honarable thing to do. Because
>he wanted to protect her. And because her happiness was more important
>than his.
>
> But... didn't he deserve to be happy, too?
>
Hiroshi: Well...

Daisuke: Now that you mention it...

Gary: It's a rhetorical question, guys.

H&D: Oh.

Gary: I think this is good emotional drama so far.


> She was about to rant again about the absurdity of this whole
>plan when bubbles appeared on the usually placid lake. She quickly
>stood up, giving the body of water a nervous glance.
>
> "I-It can't be!" She leaned against the edge of the cliff and
>waited. After a couple of minutes, she was starting to think that her
>mind was playing tricks on her. Then, all of a sudden, eight dragon
>heads emerged from the lake, the water splashing on her skin
>convincing her that this was no trick.
>
Hiroshi: It's the legendary eight-headed Hiroshi!

Gary: That's NOT what it's called....

> "Why, she's off fighting that monster, of course."
>
> "What?!" The two boys demanded in unison. The old man wasn't
>stupid enough to think that Akane could fight a monster by herself,
>was he?
>
> "Don't look so worried," Grandpa told them while pouring himself
>another cup of alcohol. "I gave her a bottle of sake so she should be
>all right."
>
Daisuke: Yeah, at least that way she'll be drunk so she won't feel it
when the thing devours her!

Gary: Daisuke...

Hiroshi: Yeah, really! Haven't you got any sensitivity? Letting the
monster eating Akane?

Daisuke: Sorry.

Hiroshi: She's a hot babe! Let it eat Ryoga or someone like that!

Gary: *sigh*

> The three ran towards the middle of the forest. The two boys'
>expression filled with worry, while the old man was too drunk to feel
>much of anything.
>
> "Oh no, we're too late," Ranma yelled as he watched Akane beating

Hiroshi: Didn't sound like a yell.

Gary: Probably should have had an exclamation point, not a comma, after
late.

Daisuke: It's not easy to do proper punctuation,

>the dragon over the head with the broom she was carrying. She was so
>intent on the fight that she failed to notice two more monsters come

Gary: coming

> "It's too dangerous!" he yelled, ignoring the little voice in his
>head which was telling him that it was just like that dream.
>
> "But it's to save Shinnosuke's life!"
>
> Ranma looked at Akane straight in the eye for a couple of
>seconds, though it felt like an eternity before he made his decision.
>"Let's go, then."

Gary: I like it when the characters have to make hard decisions.

>
> * * *
>
> The two ran out just in time to see the slightly winded Ryoga
>take another shot at one of the monster's head before him.

Gary: heads

>
>
> The smile disappeared as a battered and pissed off dragon wrapped
>its tongue around Ranma with the intent of eating him.
>
> The shock of seeing him in extreme danger, helpless to save
>himself, brought back the flood of memories which the herbal shampoo
>had denied her. "RANMA!"

Gary: That's way too quick and summary. Akane getting back her memories
is a pivotal event in the story. It needs to be dragged out more. Tell
us in detail exactly what Akane feels and experiences here.

> "Are you crazy?!" Ryoga demanded.
>
> Akane ignored him and kept struggling until the jacket finally
>ripped open, revealing a bright blue shirt and a strangely shaped
>white object.

Hiroshi: Is she naked now?

Gary: [rolls eyes] *Now* you guys wake up....

> "Shinnosuke!" Akane yelled as she ran up to his motionless form.
>The days without the magic water had not been kind to him. He had lost
>a lot of weight since they had last seen him and his body emitted no
>warmth at all.

Hiroshi: Uh, Akane? No warmth at all? He's dead.

Daisuke: He's dead, Jim.

Gary: I hope she was exaggerating there.
>
> Akane quickly turned him over, grateful that the hospital gowns
>opened at the back.

Daisuke: Because Shinnosuke had really nice buns.

Gary *groan*

> She carefully placed some of the moss over
>Shinnosuke's body, the deep scars disappearing within seconds.
>
> She let out a cry of joy as his eyes started to flutter open, his
>deathly color having gone along with the wounds.

Hiroshi: But since his heart had stopped five days ago, it was all for
naught.

Daisuke: Hey, he'll at least be a healthier looking corpse!

>

Hiroshi: But that stupid Panda keeps tagging along.

> Akane stared at his face, her bottom lip quivering before she
>flung herself into his arms. Ranma, through it all, stood stiffly,
>patting her back awkwardly while her hot tears turned his silk shirt a
>darker shade of crimson.
>
> After a couple of minutes, her crying had been reduced to the
>occasional sniffle, and Akane felt composed enough to speak.
>
Daisuke: [Akane voice] "Shinnosuke kicked the bucket! Could I marry you
instead?"

> He slowly took the blindfold off, causing Akane to gasp in wonder
>as she got her first glimpse of the glittering blue jewel before her.

Hiroshi: [Akane voice] Oh, Ranma! I wanted a diamond, not a sapphire!

Gary: Do you have to take this literally?

>AUTHORS NOTES: Yay! I'm finished! Hope most of you were happy with the
>ending. After numerous threats from my best friend, I finally decided
>to make it a Ranma ends up with Akane fic.

Hiroshi: So how come Gary still refuses to write a Hiroshi and Daisuke
end up with Shampoo and Kodachi fic?

Daisuke: Yeah, it's not like we haven't threatened him enough.

Gary: You guys aren't my best friends, though.

> Now all of you who wanted
>her to end up with Shinnosuke know who to blame ^_^
>I'd like to thank Scott Schimmel, my prereader for pointing out the
>parts that didn't make too much sense(Writing most of the fic at two
>a.m. can do that). And for all those who commented, I'm sorry if you
>didn't get a response, but my inbox is currently filled and I can't
>find anything there if my life depended on it :)
>Please send c&c or I'll be forced to drown my sorrows by eating ice
>cream! How's that for a guilt trip ^_^

Daisuke: What is she, Skuld? And how does she expect to *get* this C&C
if her box is full? Anyway, I'd rather go to see fort knox.

Gary: That's a gilt trip. Anyway, it was a nice romantic ending to the
series. Having them openly love for each other takes out a lot of good
dramatic tension, but the series isn't going to continue anyway. I
wonder if the Tendos are ever going to figure out that they have their
daughter back, though.

Hiroshi: Well, let's see... same name, grew up in the same place where
their daughter got lost as a child... nope, not much chance.

Daisuke: That's the end of the series, we need to do something to
celebrate. I've got an idea for a skit.

[fic ends; we see Gary, dressed like Shinnosuke]

Gary (reading rather woodenly from a script): This is certainly an
interesting new neighborhood we've moved into, Akane! ... Akane? Get out
here, Akane.

[Hiroshi comes out, dressed in a gi.]

Hiroshi: Here I am!

Gary: This is your Akane costume?

Hiroshi: Yeah. You don't like it?

Gary: It's a bit... extreme.

Hiroshi: I was trying to do a Gainax version. I'll get rid of the
melons.

Gary: Anyway... This is certainly an interesting new neighborhood we've
moved into, Akane!

Hiroshi: Um... oh yeah. Yes, but the neighbors are really loud! I think
we should go over and ask them to quiet down! Knock knock!

[Daisuke comes out, wearing a spiky red wig.]

Daisuke: Hi! I'm your new neighbor. I'm the greatest super-genuis
scientist of all time, if I do say so myself!

Gary: Huh? You're way off script. What the heck are you doing?

Daisuke: This is my commemorative skit for this fic! It's a version
called "WASHURERARENAI!"

Gary: D'OH!

Hiroshi: Oh, Brother!!

Gary: Anyway, I think we better sign off. I enjoyed the series, and hope
to see more from Emily soon. Whaddaya think, your kahuna-ship?

Principal: I'm thinkin' that's a wrap, yeah! Until next time, bruddas!

Hinako: Is that really possible? What happened in the story, I mean. A
girl being lost and ending up back with her parents just by chance.

Principal: Who knows?

Hinako: Even I myself was lost as a child. I was left at the hospital
door with all of my hair shaved off.

Principal: No kiddin'? I wen' sendin' off my first daughter dat way.

Hinako: Wow, what a coincidence! I hope she turns up!